Fragments
by MoreThanSimplyWords
Summary: Letting go can have disastrous results. Post-finale. Literati, with some JavaJunkie.
1. Prolouge

**A/N: The prologue takes place a few months after Rory comes to see Jess at Truncheon. Luke and Lorelai's wedding is over Christmas, so Rory can be there. Also, I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**_  
_

"Are you coming to the wedding?"

The question sounded simple enough. Jess would have easily responded with a yes - he owed his uncle that much - had it not been for one factor.

"You know I don't really get into this mushy stuff." He still had to protect his tough-guy exterior sometimes.

"Oh, believe me, I know."

"Sarcasm is not becoming to you."

Luke snorted, but let the subject drop. Jess looked across the room of the small diner, where he often ate. It was similar to Luke's Diner, and though Jess would never admit it, it gave him a feeling of familiarity.

"So, uh, who else is coming?"

"Lorelai insisted we had to invite the whole town. I could have done without Taylor, but you know Stars Hollow. You invite one person, you invite the whole town." He paused. "TJ's the best man. Liz mentioned it, and once the two of them get an idea in their head…"

Jess was silent.

"She's the maid of honor."

He nodded slowly. He'd figured as much.

"You have to let go of her sometime."

"I know." He'd been trying to let go for years. Without warning, his mind flashed back to a few months before. _She used me. No, she didn't. Maybe she was just caught in the moment. Maybe I just surprised her. Maybe…_Jess rubbed his temples. He was tired of making excuses for her. Part of him longed to see her. The other part of him knew that it would only cause more pain.

"I'll be there." He would do it - for his uncle.

Luke stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good. I'll see you in a few weeks."

* * *

She was breathtaking in her red dress, with her hair in ringlets just brushing her shoulders, as he observed from his seat in the back of the room. His entrance had been quiet - he didn't want to run into her by any means. Jess tried to focus on the wedding, but his eyes always seemed to wander back to where she was standing. He hated the fact that he was still unnerved by her. He supposed he'd always had a faint hope that they might someday be together. After she had rejected him at Yale, he had managed to suppress his feelings, and had done fine for a while without her. But when she came to Philadelphia, he had let all his past hopes grow stronger than ever, and for just a second, everything was right. Then, not only was he rejected again, but he had to listen to her ramble about how much she still loved Logan. That was what hurt him most of all.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Jess pulled his mind back to the present, as people all around him stood up. For a moment, he debated staying for the reception. He sighed. It would be nearly impossible to avoid Rory there. And besides, he had congratulated Luke before the wedding began. He glanced at Rory's beaming face one last time before slipping away. He told himself that he couldn't bear to talk to her again, not so soon after what happened at Truncheon. He walked to his car, trying to ignore his mind screaming at him that he'd always just been good at running away.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: This takes place about six months after the prologue. I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

"_I think - I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go."_

He hates the nights when he can't turn his mind off. Her words and his own stupidity taunt him. He knows from past experience that it will only get worse if he lays here, staring blankly at the ceiling. So he goes to his computer and reads. He reads and re-reads all her articles that he can find. The pain her name evokes is almost tangible. He reads the words, so professional, but unique and completely her. In the back of his mind, he can almost see her eyes shining with delight.

He runs a hand through his hair. He thought he'd be over her by now, but the pain is all he knows every time he sees one of her new articles. But he knows she's been the only one for him since he was seventeen and that fact doesn't seem to have changed. Maybe, he thinks, she'll come sweeping in again. Or, he grudgingly admits, he'll find someone else. But for now he reads her words, savoring the little pieces of her he can still find.

* * *

"_Hey, Jess. It's Luke. Your mom wanted to talk to you, but she lost her cell again, which isn't really surprising. How she doesn't lose Dula, I don't know. Anyway, I'm the appointed messenger. She said it was urgent, so give me a call back soon. Wouldn't want to keep your mother waiting. Or maybe it would just remind her to keep better track of her phone."_

Jess held the phone to his ear and waited for Luke to pick up. After getting the answering machine, he muttered "You're really not much better than Liz, Luke." He might as well try the house. Sighing, he dialed the number, memorized from calling Rory so many times years before. He never liked calling there now for that reason. _Get a grip, Jess._ _You had your chance._

Jess tapped his fingers on his desk while he listened to the phone ring on the other end.

"Hello?"

He swallowed. For a moment, the voice had sounded exactly like Rory's. He knew there was a distinct possibility it was Lorelai, so he shoved the uninvited hope that had risen up to the back of his mind.

"Is Luke around?"

There was a beat of silence on the other end. "Jess?"

He let out a breath. "Rory." He hadn't talked to her since that day at Truncheon, and the memory still burned in his mind. Hanging up seemed like a viable option, but he held his ground.

"Luke's out with my mom. Do you want me to tell him anything?" Her words came out in a rush, like they always had when she was uncomfortable.

"No, that's okay. I just thought I'd try here, since he wasn't answering his cell. When does he ever?" He joked, trying weakly to lighten the tension.

"That's Luke for you." She replied just as awkwardly. "I'll tell him you called."

"Thanks." He hesitated before speaking again. "How's the reporting going?'

Her voice grew excited. "It's great. It's challenging, but really exciting. I got to come back to Stars Hollow for the weekend, which was nice. I have to leave a day earlier than planned, though. The news never sleeps."

"That's what I hear. I've uh, seen some of your articles. They're good."

"Thanks."

There was an awkward silence. "Well, I'd better go."

"Bye, Jess." The phone clicked.

He hung up slowly. He leaned back in his chair, noticing his pounding heart.

"Dude." Matthew was just walking in the door. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Just fine."

* * *

**Chapters will eventually get longer, I promise! I had some trouble writing this one. Is there any aspect of Rory or Jess' (especially Jess') life that you guys would like to see? I can't promise I'll be able to fit it in, but I would love suggestions! :) **


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, starting with this chapter, I'm going to alternate points of view. I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

"I'm going to Doose's to pick up junk food!" Lorelai called.

"Don't forget the Milk Duds!"

"I wouldn't dare."

Rory finished throwing the last of her clothes into her suitcase. She headed into the kitchen, where Luke was cooking dinner.

"Hey, Luke, I'm going to put this in your truck for tomorrow."

"Okay."

She was almost to the door when she turned around.

"Um, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Jess called. He said he couldn't get a hold of you."

Lorelai walked in, carrying bags of candy, and shot Rory a look.

"Oh." Luke sounded a little surprised. Rory simply stood, trying not to show any emotion that might bring on a talk from Lorelai. "Thanks, Rory."

Rory nodded, picked up her suitcase, and walked out the door, avoiding eye contact with Lorelai.

* * *

"I forgot the fries at the diner. I can get them and be back here in ten minutes."

"I'll come with you. I'd rather eat them there, anyway."

"I will never understand you."

"You married me."

"That doesn't mean I have to understand every aspect of your crazy mind."

"Then just go with it."

Luke just sighed. "Do you want to come?" He asked Rory. "No, thanks. I'm good."

She watched as her mom and Luke shut the door behind them. She was walking into her room when she saw Luke's cell phone charging on the counter. She stared at it. Slowly, she opened the phone and scrolled through the contacts until she came to Jess Mariano.

Her hands shaking, she tore a slip of paper out of a notebook and copied the number. She didn't write any name down, knowing she would never forget who the number belonged to.

* * *

"Hey, Hon?" Lorelai creaked the door open.

"Yeah?"

"Come have some ice cream with your dear mother. I won't get to see you for centuries after tomorrow."

"Wow, I didn't know Thanksgiving was so far away." She followed her mom to the table.

Halfway through a bowl of cookie dough ice cream, Lorelai became serious.

"So you talked to Jess?"

"Yeah."

"How was it."

"Fine. Slightly awkward."

"Are you guys talking again?"

Rory thought back to the slip of paper with his number. "No."

"Okay." Lorelai drew the word out.

"Mom."

"Daughter."

She rolled her eyes. "It's really not a big deal. We didn't talk for long anyway." She stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"You're not mad, are you?"

"No. There's just nothing to say about it."

"You know I only want the best for you."

"I know." She smiled and walked to her room. "Love you, Mom."

"Love you, too."

* * *

_She was sitting in a town meeting, listening to Taylor ramble about the dangers of drinking too much coffee. Lorelai was having a fit, and Luke, for once, was agreeing with Taylor. From across the room, Jess caught her eye and smirked. She grinned back and settled further into her chair to watch the show. _

_"Wait just a minute," Lorelai was saying. "For some of us, coffee is a necessity. It's like oxygen. You wouldn't take oxygen away from me. If I did, it will be on your hands, Taylor!"_

"_If you die, it will probably be from an overdoes of caffeine." Luke stated._

"_If I stopped drinking coffee, your business would be seriously harmed. Who else would drink seven cups of your coffee a day?"_

"_No one, because everyone else is relatively sane. Well, except for Taylor. And Kirk. But at least they agree you need to lay off the coffee."_

"_That's right, Lorelai," Kirk jumped in. "In fact, now's the perfect time to introduce my latest invention. It's basically a coffee substitute. I can give you a free sample of -"_

"_I don't want a coffee substitute! I want coffee!"_

"_Oh, for Pete's sake, it's for your own good." Taylor looked exasperated._

_By this time, the townspeople were filtering out, leaving the four to argue among themselves. Rory stood up, still laughing at her mother's frantic pleas. Arms wrapped around her from behind. _

"_This applies to you too, you know." Murmured a low voice beside her ear._

_She leaned back against Jess, smiling contently. "You underestimate us Gilmores. Trust me, this coffee issue won't be a problem for long."_

"_Oh, I know your capabilities. You're the reason I re-read __The Fountainhead__."_

"_It's good for you. Kind of like taking vitamins."_

"_When was the last time you took vitamins?"_

_She wrinkled her nose. "Never."_

"_I thought so. Anyways, you promised to make it up to me if it was still as awful as I had thought."_

"_So I did." She smiled as his lips started to brush hers._

Her eyes flew open to a dark room. His voice seemed to ring in her head, and his face still danced in her mind. Too wired to sleep, she got out of bed and began working on her latest article. As much as she tried to concentrate on writing, he seemed to slip between the lines. _It must be because of that phone call last week._ She told herself. She hated the way Jess could get under her skin. She never thought about Dean anymore, and Logan, though the expected dull ache was still there, was quickly becoming a fading memory. Jess, on the other hand, had always been in the back of her mind. For years, she had struggled to push all thoughts of him down. Eventually, she had become numb, seemingly detached. But he had never really left. She still carried the pain from his desertion, and from the fact that she had let more than one second chance slip by, mostly because of her fear of him backing out again. She had tried buried his memory long ago, but it still affected her in more ways than she would like to admit. Little things, like margins, diners, the smell of old books, and crowded subways in New York reminded her of him. She had - still, if she was honest with herself - loved him more deeply than she had even loved any man. He pushed her to be better, but knew her potential and encouraged her at the same time. And in his own quiet, veiled way, he had loved her.

Maybe, Rory thought, hiding from him wasn't the answer. Maybe she needed to face the problem head on. Closure. That was all she needed. She closed out her article and started an email. Her finger hovered over the keyboard, but words seemed to have fled her mind. Exasperated, she grabbed her phone. She pulled the slip of paper out of her desk and had dialed before she fully comprehended what she was doing, or what she was going to say. The phone rang twice on the other rose bitterly inside her, but before she could hang up, a voice came through.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry this took me so long to put up! I obviously don't own Gilmore Girls. **

**Jessjunky - Okay, I added Matt and Chris in here. They turned out to be a little...crazy. Hope you like them!  
**

He had no idea why the phone was ringing at two in the morning, but he reached out and grabbed it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Rory."

His heart sped up. She wouldn't be calling unless something was wrong. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. Sorry for calling so late."

He would never be able to figured this woman out. He rubbed his eyes. "It's okay. It's not every night that I get a call from a reporter. Did you want an interview, though? 'Cause I'm probably not at my sharpest."

"I just…How's the writing coming?"

"It's good. I've got some ideas floating around."

"That's good."

_Time to get some real answers. _"Why'd you call?"

His mind flashed back to when they were seventeen, after the Bid-a-Basket marathon. He'd asked the same thing when she had called without reason. He had said he was glad she'd called. Jess opened his mouth to say the same line, almost unconsciously wishing to bring back the nostalgia of better times. Before the first word was out, he shut it. Nothing would ever be the same between them. He was still reeling from the pain of losing her, while she went through life as if nothing had happened between them. _Only, _he thought bitterly, _when she needs to use me._ But he knew that under the bitterness, he still loved her. And he hated that fact. Jess was used to being tough and independent. To admit that he wasn't over a girl that he loved at eighteen was embarrassing. But he knew - the whole world probably knew for all the times he had tried to get her back - that it was true.

Her voice jolted him back to the present. "I, uh…"

His chest tightened. He couldn't do this to her. "So, how much time do you have for reading with your new job?"

He heard a small sigh of relief. "I make time."

They lapsed into an easy conversation about books, transitioning to movies and Stars Hollow, to Paul Anka and first pets.

"When I was three or four, I named a caterpillar I found. Made it a home between some rocks and put leaves in there for it. Of course, it was gone by the next day. Does that count?" He'd never actually told anyone that story.

"That's so sweet!"

"Aww, come on, Rory." He rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep from grinning.

"What was it's name?"

"Um, Larry."

She giggled.

"You can stop laughing now."

"Sorry."

"Sure you are."

"It's just funny - you with a pet caterpillar. It's not what I would have expected. You were always a little more on the tough side. You do know they turn into butterflies, right?"

He chuckled. "What did you expect me to have - a pet spider?"

"More along the lines of centipede."

"Very nice."

She yawned. "Well, I should probably get going. I've got an early morning tomorrow."

"Yeah, and you never know when crazy people are going to call in the middle of the night."

He could almost see her rolling her eyes. "Bye Jess."

"Bye Rory."

"Oh, and Jess…?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep in touch."

He swallowed. And just like that, he was once again fell into the whirlwind that was Rory Gilmore, hook, line, and sinker.

* * *

"Where are my keys? Why do I always lose them?" Matt asked.

"Probably somewhere in that mess you call a desk." Chris said from across the room.

"Oh, like you can find anything either."

"At least my mess is organized."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"I will."

"If I don't find my keys, I can't grab the pizza and movie for tonight."

"Is that supposed to tempt me into helping you find them?"

"Indirectly, yes."

"Fine." Chris lifted a few papers. "Right here."

"How do you do that?"

"Must just be one of my talents."

"It comes in handy."

"What's with the big celebration, anyways?"

"_It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday,_" Matt sang.

"Okay, how about you pick up that pizza now?" Jess said, covering his ears.

Matt sighed. "Fine." He walked out the door.

Jess chuckled. "Very nice."

"What?" Chris asked innocently.

"Hiding his keys?"

Chris grinned. "It's fun to mess with his head."

* * *

Later, they sat talking and eating the last remnants of the pizza.

"So, why the 'end of the week' celebration? You do realize that we still have to work tomorrow, right?" Chris asked Matt.

"I was trying to forget that."

"I'm still trying to forget your _"Friday_" performance."

Matt took a deep breath. "_It's Friday…_" He began.

"You'd better watch it." Jess said. "Chris looks like he's about to boo you off the stage."

"He's right. If I had a tomato, I'd throw it."

"Criticize it one more time and I'll do it again."

Chris was quiet.

"You know, we're almost like The Three Stooges." Matt said.

"I'm not sure that's a good thing." Jess remarked.

"Oh, come on. Everyone loves The Three Stooges. I can be Larry."

"Hold on a second. What about Jess?" Chris asked.

"What about him?"

"He's not Larry…not Mo…"

Jess snorted. "I feel like I just stepped into one of those kids games of 'which item doesn't belong.'"

"You're just not very Stooge-ish."

"More like Scrooge-ish." Chris snickered.

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

"You know, you're right. You're more of the angsty writer type."

"Thank you very much."

"You should talk to my uncle."

"Why? Is he a Stooge?"

"Try Scrooge."

"So that's where you get it from." Chris said.

"I thought we decided I _wasn't _Scrooge."

"That's susceptible to change. But we can meet your uncle and then we'll talk."

"Ah, he's not that bad."

"That leaves you to be our Scrooge."

"Why do we need a Scrooge in the first place?"

"Because you're not a Stooge."

Jess just sighed.

A few seconds later, his phone rang. He quickly picked it up and started for the other room.

"Who is it?" Matthew asked.

"From the way he ran out of here, I bet it was a girl." Chris laughed.

"Hey, Luke." Jess said, rolling his eyes at Matt and Chris.

"Okay, not a girl."

"Is that Scrooge? Tell him we said hi." Matt called.

"Who is that?" Luke asked.

"Uh, just Matt and Chris. I think you met them at the open house."

"What was that about Scrooge?" Luke snorted. "Actually, I don't even want to know."

"That's probably wise."

"Is that the little hoodlum?" A voice in the background said.

"He's a grown man, Lorelai."

"Mmhmm. I'm going to Sookie's."

"Sounds like you're not the only one with someone listening into your phone conversation." Jess said.

Luke sighed. "So…how are you doing?"

"Fine."

"That's good."

He recognized Luke's way of approaching a serious conversation. He rolled his eyes and braced for another 'talk'. It was never quite that simple when it came to Luke. "Yep."

Neither spoke for a few moments. "Did you want something, Luke?"

"Well, I just…"

"Just spit it out."

"Are you talking to Rory?"

_Well, that'll do it._ "We've been calling each other occasionally."

"So help me, Jess, if you hurt her again -"

"Where is this coming from?"

"Oh, come on."

"Did Lorelai put you up to this?"

"You just don't have the best track record."

"Oh, I'm always going to be the one to hurt her."

"Pretty much, yeah."

Jess was angry now. He couldn't stop the tone of his voice or the words that poured out. "So she can just come in here and kiss me? Let me think she wants to get back together and then tell me she's in love with some rich jerk who cheated on her? But I can't even talk to her without the entire population of Stars Hollow thinking I'm going to hurt her?"

"What are you talking about?"

He rubbed his forehead. "Nothing," He said in a quieter voice. "Forget I said anything."

"She did that to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jess-"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it." He stated louder.

"Fine."

Jess hung up. He grabbed his coat, and walked past Matt and Chris on his way to the door. Their silence told him they had heard at least part of his conversation.

'I'm going for a walk."


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: First of all, I want to thank guys for the reviews. They're really encouraging. :) Secondly, I'm sorry I didn't get this chapter up sooner. I need to stop working on later chapters, and concentrate on the one I'm working on...plus, I had a midterm on Friday. Those things are not fun. :P Anyway, I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

"Luke talked to the rebel without a cause yesterday."

"Who? Jess?"

"Who else?"

'That's…good."

"Yes, it is."

"Why are you so excited about that?" A thought occurred to her. "Mom. You didn't."

"Didn't what?" Lorelai said sweetly.

"That would be a yes, then."

"I might have dropped a hint to Luke that you two were…talking."

"Why is talking such a big deal?" She regretted the words as soon as they were out, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Well, honey, when you and Jess talk, it always ends up being something more. Remember when you guys were 'just friends'? Oh, wait, I think the term you used was 'friend-ish'."

"Did Luke chew him out?"

"I don't know. But let's face it: That kid could use a good chew-out every once in a while."

"Why would you do that?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt. He's done it a few too many times before."

"It takes two to tango."

"What?"

"Nothing." She bit her lip, hoping her mom wouldn't press her about it. "Look, mom, I know you don't want me to get hurt, and I appreciate that, but I've got it under control."

"Okay, hon. I'll take your word for it."

"Thank you." She tried to ignore the churning in her stomach. "So, what's this I hear about Kirk getting a goldfish?"

* * *

"…So cat Kirk kept trying to eat the fish. Lulu's still trying to get him to give one of them away. But by now, he's too attached to get rid of either one."

"Isn't his cat basically the animal version Bertha in _Jane Eyre_?" Jess said.

"That's the one."

"And why doesn't he get rid of it?"

"It's Kirk. That explains everything." She giggled. "Don't you miss Stars Hollow even a little bit?"

"Nope. That town was insane, and I'm pretty sure I liked Taylor just as much as Luke does. Same with Gypsy. We were never very fond of each other."

"Come on. There has to be someone you liked."

If she had ever had any doubts about the definition of deafening silence, they were cleared away in that instant. She heard him blow out a breath.

"Um, you don't have to - uh, never mind." She stuttered. _Nice going, Rory._ She dropped her head onto her desk.

"Sorry." She said quietly. "I didn't mean to -"

"It's okay."

'Well, because this can't get any more awkward, did Luke happen to…"

"Have a conniption because I'm talking to you?'

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I promise, I did not put him up to it."

"I didn't think you did."

She believed him, but his voice sounded hard and distant. "Was it bad?"

"Have you seen Luke when he's mad?"

"True." There was a pause. "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you mad?"

He was silent for a moment. She held her breath.

"Just sick of people thinking I'm going to hurt you."

"I know. It's not fair to you."

"Can we drop it now?" His voice wasn't harsh, but the words still struck her. Why had she even brought it up?

She scrambled for a topic. "How are Matt and Chris doing?"

"Chris wants a dog."

"I thought you guys lived upstairs."

"That's the problem."

"Maybe he should get a goldfish." She snickered.

"I'll send him down to Star's Hollow to steal Kirk's."

"At least he'll have a good home."

"I'm not sure Chris fills that position."

"Kirk will be devastated."

"Cat Kirk won't."

"I think Kirk's more likely to cause a riot than his cat. He _is_ on Taylor's good side."

"They'd probably have another town meeting. Yet another reason I don't miss living there."

"You have to admit, those were kind of fun."

"No way."

She laughed. "Here we go again. Anyway, I should probably get to work on my article."

"Okay."

She was about to hang up when he spoke again.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?"

He was silent. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

She frowned. "What?" Jess wasn't one to say that easily.

"Never mind. Good luck with your article."

"Thanks." She said slowly. She debated pushing the answer out of him, but shook her head. It had never worked when they were younger, and they were doing so well now.

"I'll tell Kirk to lock his goldfish up." She finally said.

"You do that." She could almost hear the traces of a smirk.

Rory set the phone down and poised her fingers over the keyboard. She could still hear his voice. A smile spread its way over her face, but she quickly caught herself. There was no way she was falling for him. She had meant to end things with him weeks ago, but now she wasn't sure what she had been planning to say to him in the first place. _Soon,_ she thought. _I'll wrap things up soon._

The ringing of her phone brought her attention back. She checked the caller ID and caught her breath when she read his name.

"Miss me that much?" She was grinning wildly now, waiting to hear his voice again.

"Did you say you're going to be in New York this weekend?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to see you. How much free time will you have?"

"You want to come to New York?"

"That's what I said."

She tried answer nonchalantly. "Um, okay. I'll have some time Sunday afternoon."

"There's a café near Washington Square. You want to meet there at 2:00?"

"See you then."

She typed the rest of her article in a daze, giddiness sweeping through her as she finished and promptly celebrated with chocolate.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

He didn't know why he hadn't felt the usual shot of happiness as he hung up the phone Wednesday night. He didn't know why it had been replaced with a hollowness in his chest that he still hadn't been able to shake. In some desperate need to find a solution, he had asked to see her. Surely that would clear things up. Surely he was just missing her face. But as he stared into the mirror a final time, he wasn't sure of anything.

"Hey, Jess!" Chris called from downstairs. "Come take a look at this."

Jess looked at his watch. He would have to leave in five minutes if he wanted to be on time.

He gave a shaky sigh and looked in the mirror one last time. "I'll be right there."

* * *

The long drive did nothing to calm his nerves. By the time he arrived at the café, he could hardly convince himself to open the door. He stood just outside and looked through the window. Rory sat reading a book, her hair falling slightly in her face. She looked up as she heard the door open, and he felt a pang of guilt as he watched her face fall. He was only half an hour late, he tried to reason with himself. Better late than never. He looked back at her. She was dressed nicely and for just an instant, he wondered if it was for him. _Don't be ridiculous. She's a reporter. She always dresses like that. _He took a deep breath and went inside.

She looked up, and her smile made Jess want to run to her, or walk out the door and never come back. He hated how much power she still had over him.

"Sorry I'm late."

"I had a book." She smirked. "Though I did notice someone getting a little _You've Got Mail_."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh."

"So, what do you want to eat?" He said.

"Evasive as ever, I see. Do you want to spilt a pizza?"

"Sounds good."

"I'll get it. I like ordering in New York."

"Still?"

"I didn't get out much as a kid."

He watched her order. She turned around as she waited for the pizza and caught his eye. He smiled at her and she grinned back, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Their eye contact seemed to last a little too long, and it brought him back to when they were teenagers. Surely she wasn't falling for him again. It wasn't possible.

Rory brought the pizza back. "I'm starving."

"When are you not?"

"After Thanksgiving. But only for a few hours."

"You amaze me."

'Well, thank you very much."

They fell into easy conversation. He had missed her smile and the way her eyes lit up when she spoke. For a while, he succeeded in pushing his doubts to the back of his mind.

"Are you still enjoying the reporting business?"

"It's great. We start the next 'leg' of it in a few months. We'll probably hire a few more reporters. I'm not exactly sure what it's going to mean for me, but I'm secretly hoping they'll put me in a better position than I have now." Her face was flushed with excitement. "So, how's Truncheon?"

"It's good. Life is never boring when Matt and Chris are involved."

"And how's the writing?"

He blew out a breath. "Honestly, I'm at a little bit of a standstill."

"Happens to the best."

It was more than that, he knew. He couldn't seem to get her of his mind long enough to put anything on paper. But he couldn't tell her that. He had to do this on his own. Somehow, he had to.

He noticed the way her eyes seemed to take in his every move. Why was he doing this to her? What was he doing, sitting here and talking to her like this? Why were they even talking in the first place? She still hadn't explained why she had started calling him in the first place. Why hadn't seen done this a few years ago? Why now had she come to Truncheon that day, right when he was starting to put his life back together? Why had she called a year and a half later? Why did she keep coming back to him? And most of all, why did he keep falling for her? Recently, Jess couldn't help wondering if he was nothing more than her rebound. _It wouldn't be the first time. _He shook his head and tried to concentrate on what she was saying.

She stopped talking and looked at him for a few seconds. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." _Great. _He thought. _Now you're lying to her._

"Is this about the writing? I know you'll do it. You can do anything you want."

Except for letting go of her. She kept weaving her way throughout any story he had tried to write in the past few months.

"I'm fine." He said again.

She looked away. "Alright." Clearing her throat, she said "The workers are glaring at us."

"We must be overstaying our welcome. Still want to live in 'The Big Apple?'" He smirked.

"Hey, Luke does the same thing. Even to my mom."

"Being married to her doesn't make a difference?"

"Apparently not. He just goes on his 'I have other customers waiting' rant. My mom thinks it's cute, so she does it a few times a week."

"I bet Luke just loves that." He said, discreetly checking his watch. They had been sitting here for three hours. Surely that was enough time. He could tell Rory was beginning to get suspicious, and the horrible aching in his chest hadn't subsided for more than a few minutes at a time. He needed to get away and think. He couldn't make any decisions around her, not while she was gazing at him with adoring eyes, regardless of how hard she tried to hide it.

"I should probably get back. It's a long drive."

"Right. It was good to see you, Jess."

"You too."

She was looking at him both expectantly and hesitantly, unsure of how to say goodbye. He wanted to do something, but he couldn't bring himself to move. Instead, he stood awkwardly, a ghost of a smile plastered on his face.

"I'll walk you to your car."

Something in her eyes changed as she turned and walked towards the door. He sighed and followed her to her car, noticing the heavy tension that had settled over them. He gave a smile and nod as she stepped in, then turned away quickly. He didn't look back; only made a beeline for his own car.

A few minutes later, he pulled into an empty parking lot and slammed his hand on the steering wheel. He hated losing his composure like this. Why had he thought some contact would be easier than none at all? He had done fine without her for a few years. _Then Truncheon happened._ His hands shook. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be with her - at all. It had only caused him pain for six years, and that was all that would every come of it. He had run back to her every couple of years and nothing good had every happened. It had only turned him upside down again. Maybe that was why he had never let go of her - he still held on to an idea of happiness that was long past. _What about now? At least you're talking._ He sighed. They had never been able to be just friends. They had always had an undeniable connection, an acute understanding of each other. They had never really needed words. They may have tried to write neatly in the margins, but they always seemed to explode across the pages, hurting themselves and anyone in their way.

No one should live like this. If you love someone, let them go. Wasn't that what he had always heard?

* * *

_A/N: *cringes* I know, I know. Not a very happy meeting. Don't be too mad. :P Jess still has some issues he needs to work out..._


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own Gilmore Girls.**

"Lane, I need some advice."  
"Go for it."  
"It's about Jess."  
"Ah. I figured.'  
"I saw him yesterday."  
"And it was bad? You sound upset."  
"I don't know. We were talking Wednesday night and a few minutes after we hung up, he called back asking to see me. We met yesterday, and it was fine for a while. Well, he showed up late, but that's Jess for you." At least, that was what she had told herself with each passing minute. "He got distant at the end, and when he had to leave…" She trailed off.  
"What?"  
"It wasn't what I expected."  
"Did he kiss you?"  
"No."  
"Did you want him to?"  
Rory was silent.  
"Oh."  
"No, that's not what I meant. Not really. I don't even know anymore. He just walked me to my car and as soon as I was in, he practically sprinted for his car, like he couldn't wait to get away from me. I just stared after him in my rear view mirror like an idiot. He didn't come back, didn't even look back, and I have no idea what he was thinking. He hasn't called and I don't know if he ever will again. I hate it! I hate that I care! Why do I let him do this to me? I shouldn't have a stupid grin on my face every time he calls me. I shouldn't have thought about what I was going to wear for half an hour today. I shouldn't have expected him to show up on time. And, of all things, I shouldn't have expected him to kiss me! I didn't mean for it to happen like this."  
"Hold on. You didn't mean for it to 'happen like this'?"  
"I called him because I wanted closure. I wanted him out of my life for good. I guess I thought that if we could just talk things out then, somehow, I'd get him out of my mind for good. But when we talked, it was just like it used to be. It was nice. I thought - I thought he had changed. What do I do?"  
Lane was silent for a moment. "Call him. Ask him what's up."  
"I can't do that. If something's wrong, he'll never talk to me."  
"Then he hasn't changed that much."  
"But -"  
"Rory, do you love him?"  
"I-I don't know. I don't want to. It's just going to get me hurt again."  
"You're never going to know unless you try. If he has changed, it might be worth it. And sometimes, you have to take the initiative. Guys don't always catch on right away. I practically had to slap Zach to get him to notice me as more than a band member."  
Despite her bad mood, she giggled. "I still think it's funny how you told him off in the diner."  
Lane groaned. "Don't remind me. I'm not proud of that moment."  
"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"  
Rory could hear crying in the background. "And the result of that embarrassing incident just started screaming. I'm going to have to let you go. But keep me posted on what happens."  
"Thanks, Lane."  
Rory sighed. Might as well get it over with. She dialed Jess' number and held the phone to her ear. "You've reached Jess Mariano. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." "….He really won't!…"  
She sighed as she heard his answering machine. Her mind went back to when she had asked him about it.  
_"Oh, that was Chris." He had said. "I made the mistake of recording it while he was in the room. I could have recorded it again, but he paid me twenty bucks to keep it._  
_"The things guys will do for money never cease to amaze me."_  
_"Yeah, well…I used it to buy a few books."_  
_"That's a worthy cause. I take back my statement."_  
_"Even if I said one was by Hemingway?"_  
_"In that case, no."_  
_"It wasn't."_  
_"What?" She had frowned._  
_"I didn't buy a Hemingway. Just wanted to see your reaction."_  
_"Very funny."_  
_"And besides, I already have most of his works."_  
_"You're hopeless."_  
_"Nope. I just have a good taste in literature."_  
_"It's better than most, I'll give you that. But the Hemingway? Not so great."_  
_"If you'd just read A Call To Arms again…"_  
_"Been there, done that, and not going back."_  
_He had sighed. "I give up."_  
She shook herself out of her reverie, packed up her laptop, and set out for a coffee shop to finish her latest article.

* * *

"Hey, Jess. It's Rory. I just wanted to say hi, and…Argh!" She flopped onto the hotel couch with a huff.  
"I should not have to practice what I'm going to say." She muttered. "It's not a big deal, right? Right. I'm just going to say hi. Not that I care anyway. Just because I'm talking to myself and I've been practicing for two days doesn't mean I care."  
Her mouth was dry. She took a sip of the water that was beside her, the one she had been sipping for the past ten minutes as she tried to get her courage up.  
I'm never going to do it if I don't jump in. She picked up the phone and listened to the answering machine.  
"Hey, Jess. It's Rory. Just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. Give me a call back. You wouldn't want to miss the latest story about Miss Patty, would you?" She paused. "Um…that's about it. Bye."

* * *

A week. Exactly a week had passed without a word, and each day her hope diminished. He didn't want to be with her. He didn't even want to talk to her. And as usual, he hadn't given the slightest indication of what went wrong. She had thought him wanting to meet her was a step forward in their relationship, not a step back. Hadn't he been the one who was chasing her for years? And all of a sudden, he changed his mind.  
"You've reached Jess Mariano…"  
Her throat constricted at the sound of his voice. She snapped her phone shut. Why had she gotten dragged into this? She should have known better. It had hurt enough the first time. She sank onto her bed and let the first tear slip down her cheek. She didn't want to love him. But if she didn't love him, wouldn't she have been able to let go of him years ago?

* * *

_A/N: I know this is more of a filler chapter, but I almost have the next few chapters written, so I should be able to update more frequently depending on my school/work load. I've had kind of a bad week, and if you guys could review on this chapter or the story in general, it'd make me really happy. Thanks to everyone who has been reading this!_


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys! And yes, Jess is...having issues right now. :P But it shouldn't last too much longer. I**** don't own Gilmore Girls.  
**

"Why aren't you writing?" Matt asked. "Isn't that what you usually do at this time of night?"

"That's because you and Chris sit there and make fun of tv shows."

"You should join us sometime. It's fun."

"Hey, I'm all for it - just not when it comes to singing the Dora theme song."

"That was one time, man."

"That's all it took."

Jess' phone rang from the counter, but he didn't move. It was probably Rory, and he didn't want to have to make any excuses about her to Matt.

"Aren't you going to get that?"

"I'm busy."

"You're sitting here."

"Exactly. I'm busy."

Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone. "Hello? Yeah, hold on." He held the phone out to Jess with his eyebrows slightly raised.

Jess swallowed. "Hello?" He braced himself for the voice he was sure would be coming over the other end.

"Well, someone's been MIA for a while." He could tell she tried to pass it off as a joke, but the deeper meaning was evident.

"Yeah, it's been pretty busy here." Matt gave him a look that he pointedly ignored as he stepped out of the room.

"That makes sense." She said quietly. "How are you?"

"Fine. You?"

"Same."

She didn't sound happy and he knew it was his fault. It hurt to do this to her, but he told himself it needed to be done. He suffered through a few more minutes of awkward conversation, before claiming he had to go.

"Jess, wait."

Her gentle, timid voice was enough to break him. At that moment, he just wanted to tell her he was sorry. He wanted everything back to normal. Maybe this time they had a chance. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Is something going on? You seemed…somewhere else when we met."

"I-" Answers begged to roll off his tongue. _I know…I'm ready to fix this…I'm sorry…I love you. _

The silence seemed to last an eternity. He leaned against the wall, his eyes shut. He was torn. Torn between the feelings he'd had for her for years and the knowledge of the power they had to hurt each other beyond repair. But he loved her. He had loved her for years. Her face danced around him, all the stolen glances when they were seventeen, her hand against his, memories spinning throughout the years. The Bid-a-Basket festival, their first kiss, the Dance Marathon. His mind stopped on Truncheon, as the painful memory once again stopped him from running back into her arms. She may appear to love him now, but he couldn't risk another rejection. He couldn't take it; not from her. It was best if he just withdrew now. He didn't just need to let go of what happened at Truncheon. He needed to let go of her. In the end, it would be best for her, too. She was going places in life and he would only hold her back.

"Jess?" Her voice was quiet, but it snapped him back to reality.

"I'm fine."

He waited for her to press him, but she didn't. He noticed Matt standing in the doorway.

"Okay." Came her voice, quiet and defeated.

His breath caught. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. "Okay." He got out.

More silence. Jess cleared his throat and straightened. "Well, I have things I need to do."

"Bye, Jess."

He held the phone to his ear for an instant longer, hoping to catch one last whispering breath. There was only a final click of the phone. He walked past Matt and into the kitchen area.

He opened the refrigerator door and rummaged through it.

"Does she know you're a horrible liar?" Matt said.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Case in point."

"Hey, are we all out of vitamin water?"

"You have things to do? You're looking for dragon fruit flavored water."

"I was actually hoping we had more of the raspberry apple."

"Right." Matt drew the word out. "You're not doing yourself any favors.

What right did Matt have to butt in? "Look. I've got this under control."

"Look." Matt mimicked him. "You've been moping around here for two weeks. I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but you stopped talking to this girl and all of a sudden you're pulling a 'me against the world'.

Jess turned around. "You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe, maybe not. But you're way more fun when you're not sulking. And if that girl is half as upset as you are, you're hurting her pretty badly.

Jess scowled. As if he didn't already know that. Why didn't anyone understand he could never be with her? It had taken him years to come to that conclusion, and now he just wanted everyone else to let it go, too. He faced Matt again. "I was never good enough for her, and I never will be. And she will never, _ever_, love me." He stormed out of the room.

* * *

He was just pulling his shirt over his head when he heard voices float up from downstairs.

"I can't find my keys anywhere. I'm five minutes late already."

Jess ran a hand over his face. He had been a jerk last night. He knew Matt was just trying to help.

Stepping into the hall, he saw that Matt's keys had been flung into a corner. He grabbed them and headed downstairs.

Matt stopped talking as he saw him. Jess tossed him his keys with a small smile and nod. It was the closest thing to an apology he could give right now.

* * *

**One week later:**

"…_If that girl is half as upset as you are…"_

He couldn't get the words out of his head. He didn't want to admit they were true. But he missed her stories, missed her laughter, missed hearing her talk about little things that other people would hardly notice, but she found so -or not so- amazing. "It's for the best." He told himself. "I'll never be what she needs, and she'll never be what I need. We would never work out, and holding on isn't going to do a thing."

"_You've been moping around here for two weeks."_

That was normal, right? After all, hadn't he hoped they would be together for years?

"…_You're hurting her pretty badly." _

He didn't like to think about that. He knew Matt was right once again. For all of the joking around Matt did, underneath was an intuitive person that Jess usually forgot was there. Until times like this, of course. He had let down Rory, Luke, Lorelei - all the people who had warily trusted him to not mess up again. But they didn't know. They couldn't know how he was feeling now. How he had felt after Truncheon. How it felt to be nothing more than a rebound, when everything was on the line.

Matt had stopped commenting on the whole situation. Jess wondered if Rory had even told Lorelai what had happened. From the absence of Luke's phone calls, he guessed not. In fact, there were almost no hints of Rory ever being in his life. The only remnant was him. He still did double takes when he thought he saw her on the street. A hollowness in his chest, even greater than when he left for California, grew ever day. He talked himself out of calling her a few times a day. But he knew if he did that, he would never get over her. Surely it got easier. It had to. Until then, he would bury himself in his books.

He sighed. It was a nice day in Philly. There was a slight breeze and the park was less crowded than usual. Usually he loved coming out here to read. He should be concentrating on his book, not thinking about her. But he had read the same page three times and still hadn't gotten anything out of it.

He glanced up from his book for a moment, then did a double-take. None other than Reporter Rory Gilmore was marching towards him, her face showing sure signs of a coming rant.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't own Gilmore Girls. I'm just borrowing the characters. And because of that, Rory never dated Dean in seasons 4 and 5. That just made me mad, and it works better with this story if she didn't. Thanks for reading!  
**

**Earlier that day:**

Philadelphia. She hadn't been able to help the surge of dread that went through her stomach when she heard the reporting crew's next destination. She threw herself into her work, not daring to stop and look around the city. But it hadn't stopped her heart from racing every time she entered a building and saw someone with dark hair. Every street corner seemed to ring with his name - doubtless he had walked on these very same streets. Rory had finished her article and was now impatiently waiting to board the bus that left for Iowa tomorrow. She had forgotten a book - a very rare occurrence - in her state of panic as she prepared to come. She forced herself out of her hotel room and walked to a small bookstore. She had to read something, or she would go crazy thinking about him. She was browsing the shelves when the person a few feet away from her spoke.

"Hey, you're one of the reporters that covering the campaign, right?"

"Yes, I am." She smiled at the young woman, who seemed to be only a few years younger than herself.

"Could I ask you a question? You look like you read a lot."

She grinned. "I do."

"Have you read this?"

Rory glanced at the book in the woman's hand. _The Subsect._ She blinked and looked away, trying to clear away the image of the words "Jess Mariano" that leapt from the page and burned into her mind. "I, uh -"

The girl sighed. "Not good?"

"No, it's not that…" She cleared her throat. " I have read it. It's really good." She swallowed past the lump in her throat? _Why is this affecting you, Rory? You are over him. __Over__ him._

The girl scrutinized her. "Let me guess. You know the guy?"

Rory's eyebrow's shot up. "Um, yeah, I do."

"Ex-boyfriend?"

"How'd you know?"

"I had the same reaction about mine the other day…" She shrugged. "I'm Candice, by the way."

"Rory. She smiled.

"So, would you rather I put this back?"

"No, read it. The book's really good."

"Just not the author?"

She didn't know why, but she kept talking. Candice seemed genuinely nice, with thoughtful dark eyes. "He's just…we're just complicated. You'd think that after six years, we'd have it figured out." She said wryly.

"Wow. "Yeah."

"Well, I hope it all works out for you. Thanks for the recommendation." She held up the book briefly.

"Sure. Nice to meet you."

Candice walked to the register. Rory abandoned the current book she was looking at and found the stack of Jess' book. She ran her hand slowly over his name, her heart beating against the glare of pain. She hated coming across his name like this. It was just another reminder of what she'd lost. She had had more than one second chance to be with him, and she had taken it for granted every time. _Don't be ridiculous. You could have never held on to him anyway. _She shook her head, quickly selected a book, and started for her hotel. A gust of wind made her turn her head to the side. She stopped short. Slouched on a bench was Jess. There was no mistaking it.

* * *

She hadn't wanted to see him. She had told herself that she never wanted to see him again. But the sight of him sitting so calmly on the bench, seemingly without a care in the world stirred something inside of her. Her feet marched towards him without consent.

She didn't give him a chance to speak. "I was so stupid to think you had changed. This is the last time you pull me in."

The shock on his face was evident, as was a brief flash of pain.

"Let me explain."

"No! You don't get to explain. You don't get to wow me with your words, and suddenly everything's okay. I should have known. I thought you had changed!"

"If you'll just -"

"I loved you, Jess!" The words that had built up inside of her for five years came spewing out. "Everyone in Stars Hollow thought I loved Dean, _I _even thought I loved him until you came along. I left him for you. And everything was great for a little while until you suddenly left. You didn't say goodbye, there was no way of contacting you, I didn't even know where you had gone! And then you come back a year later telling me you love me? What kind of love is that?" She took a deep breath, preparing for another round. "I couldn't run away with you because I didn't want you to leave. I couldn't go through that again. I've been so afraid of everyone leaving me since you, Jess." Her voice broke. "I loved Logan, but once he asked me to marry him, I realized it wasn't the way I had loved you. And then we started talking again, and maybe I was an idiot for thinking this, but I actually thought there was a chance that -" She broke off.

"What?"

Silence.

"A chance that what, Rory?"

"That we could fix things. That everything could work out the way we had always wanted it to." Tears were slipping down her cheeks. He reached out a hand and brushed them away, in such a gentle manner that shocked her so much she couldn't pull away.

"I wanted it too, you know." He said softly.

"Then why did you stop calling?"

He paused. "It hurt too much; knowing I could never have you. So I stopped calling. I thought it was the only way to let go. I've been trying to let go of you for years, Rory Gilmore, and it's never worked. I thought you had moved on. You've made it perfectly clear before that you weren't coming back." He gave a sad smile. "I loved talking to you, believe me. But then I realized I could never be what you need, and talking to you and knowing that was torture. I'm sorry I stopped calling. It was selfish, I know."

"Oh, you know what's best for me?" She spat sarcastically. "You just tell yourself that you're not good enough? I think that's an excuse. You don't want to face your problems, so you tell yourself you're not good enough. The only thing that's 'not good enough' about you is that you run at every opportunity!"

"I failed high school, Rory! I ran off to California while you went to an Ivey League school. Your mom hates me, and rightfully so. "

"Look at you now. You wrote a book. What did I do? I stole a boat and dropped out of Yale."

His expression changed from frustration to bewilderment. "You stole a boat?

His reaction was so priceless she almost laughed. Instead, she attempted a glare.

"Rory Gilmore stole a boat. Huh." He smirked.

"Not funny, Jess." She couldn't keep the smile out of her voice.

"It really is."

"Shut up."

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, go on."

Their eyes met, and suddenly she couldn't look away. She marveled at the way the dynamic of their conversation be completely changed so quickly. Her anger dissolved. "Don't ever say you're not good enough for me." She said softly. "You're the one who got me back to Yale. You're the only one who knew I could do the reporting thing all along, even when I was…uh, throwing parties with the DAR instead. And you're a published author." She looked down. "I saw your book. Right over there." And now she was with him. Two incidents in one day, different and yet so similar. So close, but so far away. The impact of it all slammed into her again, making her eyes well up,

He stepped closer. "I'm sorry. We both know I don't handle things well."

"You're not the only who messed this up."

Jess hesitated before speaking again. "Do you want to be with me, Rory?"

She bit her lip. "I don't want to be without you."

He looked into the distance.

"I called you because I wanted closure. I wanted to get you out of my head for good. But now…I don't want to lose you." She sighed. "I want to trust you, Jess. But I can't pretend that nothing ever happened, and that you never hurt me, because you did. And I know I've hurt you, too. I'm sorry about what happened at Truncheon. I was a jerk. I shouldn't have -"

"Rory." He cut her off quietly.

They stood in silence for a few moments. She didn't know what to say, so she threw his question back at him. "Do you want to be with me?"

He continued looking past her, seemingly debating with himself.

She didn't want to push him, but didn't feel like she had a choice. It was now or never. "What are you thinking?"

He met her gaze. His eyes were intense; studying her. "I don't know what I'm supposed to think, Rory."

"_I don't know what I think anymore." _It was only months later, as she was replaying their fight over in her mind that she realized that he had spoken these words. In the moment, they went unnoticed by her, but looking back, she realized it was the closest Jess had come to opening up. She hadn't been able to see the deeper meaning in his words and his tone. She wasn't going to let another chance slip by.

"About what?" She whispered.

He didn't answer at first, and Rory began to think he was going to shut down again.

"We've been doing this for six years, and it's never been right."

"We don't exactly have the best communication." _Way to state the obvious._

"I'm not much help in that area."

"We could give it one more shot." She said tentatively. She had to do this. She knew she'd regret it forever if she didn't at least try now. "But we can't keep doing this - this on and off again thing."

He nodded.

"We have to take it slow. We rushed into everything when we were younger."

"You sure you didn't read any self-help relationship books when you were at the bookstore?" He smirked.

"Jess." She rolled her eyes.

"You're avoiding the question."

"Because the thought's ridiculous anyway!"

"Ah, but people do crazy things sometimes."

"Well, for your information, I didn't. I promise."

"Whatever you say." He glanced at her. "So, what did we decide?"

"I don't know. I need to know you're not going to bolt."

He sighed. "You want to get some coffee? We can talk there."

* * *

_A/N: In the next chapter, they're going to make an attempt at being more 'open'. :P Any issues you guys would like me to try to tackle? I can't promise I'll be able to work it in there, but suggestions would be great._


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: First off, thanks for the great feedback on _I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia. _However, when I wrote it, I honestly didn't plan to turn it into anything more than a one-shot. I'll consider doing something more with it, but it will probably be after I finish this story. I can't promise anything will come of it, because I have no idea where I would go with it, but I'll be thinking about it. :) I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

The walk to the coffee shop was silent, with both of them lost in their own thoughts. Seeing her face, her eyes, her tears, had almost shredded every last once of resolve he had left. But she was right - they couldn't keep on like this. It was time to get some answers.

They ordered and sat down at a table. Rory fidgeted nervously in her seat, her eyes darting to his face every so often, while he started out the window. Minutes passed as he tried to voice the question he so desperately needed the answer to.

"I need to ask you something." He finally said.

"Shoot."

He hesitated, almost losing his nerve. Then he glanced into her waiting eyes, and knew he had to do this - he couldn't lose her again. "Why did you let me kiss you at Truncheon?"

Her eyes closed briefly. "Honestly?"

"That's what we're going for right now, isn't it?"

"I was mad."

"He deserved it, for cheating on you like that." The thought still angered him. Why she had stayed with him for so long, he would never understand.

She shook her head slightly. "Not at him, Jess. I mean, I _was_ mad at him, and that had something to do with it, but…" She took a deep breath. "It was you. I didn't mean for it to happen like that, but when you leaned in, something just snapped. Knowing you still wanted to be with me, that you thought you could just waltz in and steal me away again - I couldn't stand it. And for just one second, I wanted you to feel what you had put me through." She said the last part quietly, took a breath, and rushed on. "I think cheating on Logan was a pretext for what was really revenge. I came to my senses, but it was obviously a little too late."

He didn't say a word. His mind was spinning. How many times had he replayed the scenario over in his mind? The only thing he kept boiling it down to was that he was a substitute, and a poor one at that. He remembered the night he came to what he thought was that obvious conclusion. He had been helpless around her. As soon as she had walked through Truncheon's door, he had done something he had never liked to do - wear his heart completely on his sleeve. He had admitted he was still in love with her, that he had never been able to think of anyone but her since he first saw her. And it had all been thrown back in his face. She had moved on. He felt the same pang he used to feel when he watched her with Dean. Except that time, he couldn't fix it. He was no longer the dangerous, mysterious rebel who could charm his way into her life. _Not that that did anything for her in the long run_, he remembered thinking. He had no longer been able to win her affection. It had been taken over by someone who, from what he knew of Logan, simply treated Rory like dirt and left her struggling to pick up the pieces of who she once was. So she had come back to Jess- someone from her past, only to realize he wasn't worth it.

But the fact that she had done it because of all the pain he had put her through - why hadn't he thought of that? And somehow, in its own selfish way, it made everything seem easier. _That's just like you, Jess. Getting all caught up in what you think happened, and never giving anyone a chance to explain._

"I thought you had moved on." He said.

She smiled faintly. "Only in theory."

_Wow. You really messed this one up._ He thought.

"I'm really sorry, Jess."

He barely heard her. _She…wants to be with me?_

"I don't want to fight about this. You asked, and I couldn't lie to you and -"

_And I want to be with her. _ "I get it, Rory. And as much as I hate to admit this, I deserved that."

"It doesn't make it right."

"No, it doesn't." He agreed.

"I'm sorry."

'You've said that." He flicked her nose.

"You're not mad?"

"Not mad."

She smiled at him shyly. "So…"

_Careful, Jess. No groveling. _"So?"

"You know, typically the guy does this part."

"Huh. Maybe I should give that a try sometime."

"You've done it before."

"If I recall correctly, you came running into my arms."

"Oh please."

He smirked.

"Fine. Maybe you didn't use so many words, but you still played a part."

"If I agree, does that get me out of the formalities you're demanding now?"

"Ha! Not a chance, mister. It's fun to see you squirm."

"Rory…"

She waited, eyebrows slightly raised. He sighed.

"Alright. Will you -"

"Hold on."

"I thought you wanted me to do this."

"I do. But I don't know what we're doing yet."

He frowned. "I was kind of under the impression that I was going to ask you out."

"We can't do that."

He tried to mask his face even while his heart dropped. What had he done this time? "You're a confusing woman, Rory Gilmore."

"That didn't come out right. I didn't mean you couldn't ask me out. Well, I did, but only because we can't go out."

He blinked. "I'm used to your ramblings, but I'm still going to need a translator for that one."

"We shouldn't 'go out' in the normal sense. One, because we're just now about to get back into a relationship, and it's already going to be long distance. Two, I think we should take it slow."

He nodded.

"Is that okay with you?"

"You're the one who's been studying the self help books."

"I did not! And that reminds me, my mom told me she saw a book like that in your bag once."

He barely restrained choking on his coffee. "Your mom was snooping through my bag?"

"She just saw it."

"Probably got it mixed up with someone else's."

"You're not denying it."

"Because I know you'll just throw a 'Thou doeth protest too much' quote at me."

"Or, ladies and gentleman, could it simply be that the man of mystery, Jess Mariano, actually reads relationship books?"

"Not so loud."

"Why? You afraid someone might hear?"

"Someone might believe it."

"Oh, you've already got one person who believes it."

"I'm never going to get out of this one, am I?"

"Nope." She said cheerfully.

He didn't even mind. All that filled his mind was the fact that he once again had Rory. And he wasn't planning on losing her this time.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm back! I survived NaNoWrimo and am ready to finish this story! So here we go:**

**(Side note: Why do I always forget what I want to say as soon as I sit down to write an A/N?! *sigh*)  
**

* * *

It had been nearly a month. Rory had been wrapped up with the campaign, so she and Jess hadn't been able to see each other since that day in Philadelphia. But the phone calls were regular, the banter playful, and she was happy. That is, until she realized she would have to tell her mom sooner or later. She swallowed and picked up the phone.

"Kid! You need to come home soon. I don't get to see you enough. You'll finally come home one day, and your poor mother will be sitting by the mailbox, faintly calling 'Rory!', half frozen to death and just waiting for you to come home. It will be just like that movie about the dog at the train station. What was the name of that again? Oh! I got it. _Haichi_. It'll be a little different, seeing as I'm obviously human, and I doubt anyone will make a movie out of it, but the point's the same. I'll shrivel up in the cold waiting for my daughter." The sound of a door opening and closing cut Lorelai off for a moment. "Luke! It's Rory!"

Rory frowned at the sound of thumping on the other end of the line. "Mom? Are you bouncing?"

"I knew it!" She heard Luke's voice say.

"Knew what, dearest?" Lorelai asked sweetly.

"How many cups did you have?"

"A couple more than usual, but it's fine. Today was my splurge day."

"That's what you always say." Luke sounded exasperated.

"Mom?" Rory said.

"Oh, hi!"

Rory grinned. Her mom was insane. "You know I love you, right?"

"Really?! I wouldn't have known from your desertion."

"Okay, that's it. I'm siding with Luke on this one. Maybe, possibly, you shouldn't have had that much coffee."

"You're saying I had too much coffee? I raised you better than that."

Rory bit her lip. Might as well get this over with. "Is this a good or bad time to tell you something serious?"

"That doesn't sound good."

"It is for me, but you might not be thrilled."

"Well, luckily for you, those extra cups of coffee made me happy, so the news probably won't kick in for a few days."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "You should probably know that...I'm seeing Jess."

"It's apparently affecting my hearing too, because I'm almost positive I misheard you."

"You heard right." She swallowed.

"You're dating Jess?"

"Not _dating_, exactly."

"Well, honey, you're either dating or you're not."

"It's complicated. I guess you could call it dating." A thrill shot through her at the words. "But we're taking it really slowly."

"Really slowly, huh?"

"Yes." She tried to relax. "We haven't even kissed yet."

Lorelai was silent for a minute.

"Mom?"

"Wow, okay. Thanks for telling me."

"You're okay with it?"

"I'm adjusting."

She sighed. It could be worse. "I have good news, though."

"You're breaking up?"

"Mom!"

"Sorry. I'll stop."

"I have time to come home next weekend."

A sound that could only be Lorelai jumping up from the couch came over the other end. "Luke! She's coming home!"

"Mom - there's something else -" She broke off with a sigh. Maybe now wasn't the best time. She said goodbye, then dialed Jess.

"She knows." Rory said when he answered.

Jess drew in a breath. "How did she take it?"

"She said she's 'adjusting'."

"What did she say about the rest of it?"

She stayed silent.

"You did tell her, didn't you?"

"She was hyped up on an extreme dose of coffee. I didn't get the chance."

"I'll call Luke tomorrow." Jess sighed. "Do I need to wear my full metal body suit?"

"You might want to bring it just in case."

* * *

The phone rang at noon the next day. Rory didn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who was calling. Her mom would be eating lunch at the diner and no doubt talking to Luke, which could only mean one thing.

She picked up the phone and braced herself. "Hello?"

"I believe you forgot to mention one, tiny, insignificant detail yesterday."

"I-"

"This is way too much news to take in."

"If it's any consolation, he's staying in Luke's old place."

"It's only a small consolation." Lorelai grumbled.

Rory was quiet for a moment. "If you really don't want him there, I guess I could convince him to stay in Philly."

Lorelai sighed. "I know it's your only time to see him. Don't miss him because of me."

"Thank you." A smile worked its way across her face. "And you probably won't even see him much. A dinner or two, maybe, and then he'll be out of sight."

"Babette and Miss Patty will have a lot to talk about."

Rory felt her eyes widen. "I didn't think about that." She dropped her head on her desk. Maybe a trip into Hartford was in order.

* * *

She arrived in Stars Hollow late Friday night. Luke was just closing up when Lorelai, followed by Rory, knocked on the door. Luke greeted Rory with a brief hug, and after the formal greetings, Rory asked if Jess had arrived.

"Yeah, he's upstairs." Luke said.

Rory glanced at her mom, but her heart was leaping at the thought that Jess was in the same building.

"Oh, go ahead and go. I'll go home and play 'guess the shoe brand' with Paul Anka." Lorelai waved her hand.

"Do I even want to know what that is?"

"You don't, trust me." Luke muttered.

She watched her mom and Luke close the door before slowly walking up the stairs and knocking on the door.

Jess opened a few seconds later, his ever-present smirk hanging on his face. "Hey."

"H-hi." She stuttered. _Good grief, Rory. You're how old now? _Her eyes traveled over his face. His eyes were warm, looking genuinely happy to see her, and his hair was tossed in unruly waves over his forehead.

She had missed him.

"You hungry?" He asked.

She nodded, still having a hard time finding her tongue.

Jess placed his hand lightly on her back as they walked down the stairs. Shivers raced down her back. His hand lingered for a moment after she sat down at a table.

"What do you want? Burger? Fries?"

"That sounds good."

She started out the window while he made their meal, trying not to glance at him too often. She was sure she had a humongous smile on her face every time she did.

Jess came back with the food and sat down opposite of her.

"Thanks."

"Wait until after you eat it to say that. It's been a while since I've made a burger."

She bit into it. "So far, so good."

"When do you have to go back to Iowa?"

"Sunday afternoon."

He nodded.

"I think we should go into Hartford tomorrow." She said.

"Why?"

"Miss Patty and Barbette will have enough to say about you being back in town. Throw the two of us together into the mix…"

"And you've got the biggest story since Luke and Lorelai." He finished.

"Exactly."

They covered the basic things, latest music finds, and what they were reading, before Rory glanced at the time.

"I'd better get back. My mom and I are having a movie marathon tonight."

Jess nodded. "I'd walk you back, but I see Miss Patty out there."

She glanced at the street. "You'd better run for it. She'll notice movement and be over here in thirty seconds flat." She moved towards the door. "See you tomorrow."

"Good luck slipping out."

She smiled at him one more time before walking out the door.

* * *

"Okay, I got all the necessary movie night ingredients." Lorelai gestured to an array of junk food. "And I got _Pretty in Pink, Sleepless in Seattle, _and _Braveheart_, in case we get tired of fluff."

"Sounds good." Rory snagged a handful of M&Ms while Lorelai set up the movie.

"So, how's Jess?" Lorelai broached the topic halfway through _Pretty in Pink_.

"He's good."

"You're blushing."

"Must be the light."

"Mhmm."

They watched for a few more minutes in silence.

"You really like him, don't you?" Lorelai said softly.

"Yeah…I do."

* * *

The next morning, Rory was alone in the house. Luke had left for the diner hours before, and her mom and April had gone to bring back breakfast.

Rory made her way to her old bedroom - now half April's - and opened the closet. She stepped in as far as she could, trying blindly to find a crevice that was easy to miss. Finally, her hand closed over the only thing that made up her 'Jess' box. She had long since thrown away her Dean box. Logan's held the rocket, a pair of earrings, and a few other souvenirs. But after Jess left for California, she had thrown away his box. She hadn't kept the Distiller ticket stub, or even the note he had inconspicuously dropped on her plate on day in the diner, though she knew it word for word. All she had, buried in the back of her closet for years, was the copy of Howl. The first thing that connected them. The memories of a time when everything had been innocent. No heartbreak, no complicated mess. Just the memory of the first person who was as deeply entranced by books as she was.

She opened the book now for the first time since she was eighteen. The ink was slightly faded by time and teardrops. It was a strange to look at it now. Now that Jess was back in town. Back in her life.

The sound of the door opening broke her out of her reverie. She quickly placed the book back in the closet and walked into the kitchen.

"I missed Luke's food so much!" She said, coming to the table.

"I can't imagine bus food is very good." Lorelai said.

"It's not. And the alternative is usually from a road-side place that doesn't even look like it should be qualified as a restaurant."

"Maybe you can sneak some on the bus when you leave."

"Good idea."

"So what's on the schedule for today?"

"Hanging out with you this morning, going to Hartford with Jess later, and then dinner back here." Rory glanced at her mom. "And please…"

"I know, I know. Be courteous and graceful and everything else my mom raised me to be." Lorelai stuck out her tongue.

"Too bad she won't be around to see it."

"You want me to invite her over?"

Rory grimaced. "I'll handle this one step at a time."

"Good idea. Now, what's on the agenda for this morning?"

* * *

Later, Rory entered the diner, waved at Luke, glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and darted up the stairs. She rapped lightly on the door.

"How are we going to get out of here?" She asked when Jess opened the door.

He looked around. "I can sneak out the window."

Rory laughed softly, then looked closely at him. "You're serious."

"I always was an expert at it." Jess smirked.

"Jess, that's a two story window."

He shrugged. "It'll be good for my muscles."

"Yeah, right up until you hit the ground."

"Relax, I'll be fine. Besides, which is worse - a few bruises, or risking being seen by the entire town? I'll meet you at your car." Jess pulled a hoodie over himself, flipping the hood up. Rory giggled. "You're taking this way too seriously."

Jess smirked and opened the window.

Rory glanced at him again, then crept down the stairs and out to her car as inconspicuously as possible.

A few minutes later, Jess, with his hood still pulled over his head, entered the car.

"You made it." She said.

"Told you."

Rory just sighed and put the car in drive.

* * *

Once in Hartford, they headed over to a pizza place. From there, they entered a quiet bookstore. They each grabbed a book and took a seat, skimming the pages and absorbing the words. Although Rory's concentration was usually concrete while reading, she couldn't help glancing at Jess occasionally, still amazed that he was so close to her again. Once, he looked up at her, giving his signature mixture of a smirk and a smile. Her heart flipped like she was seventeen again, and she quickly looked back down at her book. Time seemed to slow in the bookstore, and the next thing she knew, Jess was sitting beside her.

She blinked. "You're ready?"

He nodded slowly. "I can grab another book if you want to stay."

"I'm almost done." She quickly read the remaining pages and shut the book. "Ready."

They stood up. Rory's breath caught as she realized how close they were standing. _Relax. It's just Jess. You've dated him before. This is nothing new._ She glanced at him, taking in the way a few strands of hair fell just across his forehead, the stubble on his jaw, and the way his eyes held hers. _Except this time you love him._ The thought caught her off guard. She cleared her throat. "Okay. I'm ready." She said, practically sprinting for the door.

Jess caught up to her and shot her a sideways glance, but remained silent - a fact she was beyond grateful for.

They walked on the street in silence for a few minutes before Jess asked: "So. What now?"

Rory looked around. "You know what you need? A new cell phone."

"I have a cell phone."

"I believe the key word here was 'new'."

Jess opened his mouth, but Rory cut him off. "I know you don't want a new one. I've heard it a hundred times. But yours is…rather pathetic."

"Pathetic?" He said in mock hurt. "My phone is not pathetic."

"I thought the only reason you have it in the first place is because it was a gift."

Jess remained silent.

"I thought so. But if you have one, you might as well get a new one. One that can actually do more than just call people. Like text, for example. It's practically impossible to text on your phone."

"No."

"Oh, come on." She looked up at him, a slight pout on her features. "You don't even want to text me?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Rory…"

She grinned. "Is that a yes?"

"Since the store is within walking distance, I'll take a look. But no promises, okay?"

She noticed he was a step closer than before. "Whatever you say."

He nodded, seemingly lost in thought. His shoulder brushed hers. And slowly, she felt him take her hand.

* * *

_A/N: I wrote this over the course of a month, so if it feels choppy...I'm sorry. I tried to smooth it out as well as I could. Thanks for reading!_


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: First off, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this up. And I have good news and bad news. Good news: I have the next couple few chapters nearly all the way written after this one. Bad news: After that, I don't really know where the story's going to go. I have the basic ending, but as for the middle...Let's just say I'll be working on it. ;) Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Armed with a new black phone, Jess stepped out of the cell phone store in Hartford.

"I still think you should have gotten the blue phone."

"It was shiny." He said.

"But you could look past that."

"How? It was blinding."

She sighed. "I guess." She nudged him. "Mr. Sophisticated."

"Hey, authors are supposed to be, right?"

"They're supposed to." She said, smiling up at him.

The sun caught her eyes, glinting off her blue waves. He took her hand again. Earlier, he had been afraid she would pull away. But instead, she let him take it, and they had walked slowly to the store, fingers intertwined and shoulders brushing.

"You're smiling."

Her voice brought him back to the present. "Was I? Must have slipped up."

"And forgotten your leather jacket."

"I'm losing all my reputation."

"At least you still have your hair." Her gaze traveled from his face to his head. "I've always liked your hair." She mused. "It's going to be a sad day when you lose it all. It was one of the first things I noticed about you."

"Who says I'm going to lose it?"

"Shamelessly denying the facts of life."

"Oh, come on. What do you think hair products are for?"

After a moment of silence, her eyes widened. "You're serious?" "My hair apparently upholds my reputation. Why wouldn't I be?"

She laughed. "I bet you already use them."

He stopped walking. "Whoa, let's not jump to conclusions."

"Maybe you can get a side job doing commercials."

"Do you know what Matt and Chris would say?"

"'Nice hair, Jess?'" She resumed walking, tugging slightly on his hand.

"How about 'you're fired, gel-head."

"Surely it would be more sophisticated than that."

"Not with Matt and Chris."

"Fine. No commercials. But I'm still going to hold this over you."

"Even though you know as well as I do that I don't use them."

"Do I?" She smirked at him.

He sighed and glanced at her as they reached her car, admiring her out of the corner of his eye. The day had gone well, even better than he had expected. Now the only thing to face was dinner.

* * *

Luke closed the diner early, managing to get everyone except Kirk out the door. Jess, changing into a nice button up shirt, could hear Kirk protesting from the apartment above. A door slammed from below, and soon Luke opened the door.

"Almost ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a second." Jess ran a hand through his hair one more time, reached for a book, then stopped himself. He had to make a good impression on Lorelai tonight and, as much as he hated to admit it, reading at the table was probably not the best way to do that. And besides, if things got bad, he could always borrow one of Rory's books.

He sighed and followed Luke out his truck, hoping the night would end well.

Lorelai opened the door as soon they stepped onto the porch. She kissed Luke, then greeted Jess.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey."

Rory slipped through the door before Jess could enter the house. She watched Luke and Lorelai walk inside, then pulled the door shut.

"So, um…" She trailed off, then looked down.

He waited.

She glanced at the door nervously.

_Might as well get it over with._ He rubbed the back of his neck before speaking. "It's not going to be how it was the first time."

She looked up, relief filling her eyes.

"I promise." He said. "No sneaking out."

"No stealing beers either?"

"That too."

"How about books?"

"I did not steal that book."

She just smiled, letting comfortable silence fall over them.

"Thanks for doing this." She finally said.

He nodded. "Shall we go inside?"

They found Luke scooping burgers onto a plate in the center of the table. April was setting the table, while Lorelai tried to corral Paul Anka into another room.

Jess stood awkwardly in the center of the room, Rory being the only thing that kept him from repeating history.

"Need any help, Luke?" He finally asked.

Luke set the empty burger plate in the sink. "Nope. I think I've got it."

Jess followed him. "Please let me help. I'm standing around like an idiot."

"Wow. You couldn't have been this eager when you were seventeen?"

"I wasn't standing in Rory's kitchen back then."

Luke handed him the mustard and ketchup. "You can set these out."

He nodded, headed back into the danger zone, with Lorelai's watching eyes and his relationship with Rory possibly hanging in the balance.

* * *

Halfway through dinner, he began to relax slightly. He had been able to answer Lorelai's questions without getting thrown out of the house. How much of that was Rory's doing, he didn't want to think about, but he'd take what he could get.

Silence dropped over the group. April was absorbed in a biology book, making Jess wish he had brought his own book along.

After a few minutes, Lorelai cleared her throat. "So, Jess, are you writing any more books?"

"I want to."

"Good. That's good."

He nodded, taking another bite of burger.

"Are you going to be one of those young authors or one of the old ones, like…uh," She waved her hand. "I can't think of one right now, but there's got to be a lot of them. But I'm sure there's also a lot of young authors. You've got to make money somehow, right? I mean, before you don't really have any reason to, and you can't see the words you've written, and all your hair falls out. You don't want that to happen to you."

"Not with the hair products, it won't. " Rory said quietly.

Lorelai coughed. "I'm sorry. What?"

_Oh boy._ He nudged Rory's leg under the table, but was only rewarded with a cheeky grin.

"You use hair products?" April asked, looking up from her book. "You do realize that the chemical makeup is potentially damaging to…"

"I do not use hair products." He stated firmly.

"Except for that one thing." Luke said. "You use it to spike your hair. Mousse?"

Rory's shoulders shook.

"You know, this food is really good." He said.

"So is your hair." Rory glanced at him, then bit her lip on another laugh.

He looked at Luke.

"You know, I just realized I left some stuff in my truck. I'll be right back." Luke pushed his chair back.

Jess quickly stood up. "I'll just…go help him." He had to get out of there before anymore weirdness ensued.

Luke was still trying to smother a grin as Jess marched up to him.

"I thought this was supposed to be a normal, friendly dinner."

"You're with the Gilmores. Nothing is ever normal."

"How did we go from writing books to hair products? She asked a simple question."

Luke sighed. "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Lorelai was pretty nervous about you coming here."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well, I know things are a little rough between the two of you, but she wants Rory to be happy." Luke looked back at the house. "She probably got nervous and started spouting off whatever came to mind. Happens a lot."

"Great."

"It'll pass."

"Before or after I leave tomorrow?"

Luke chuckled, then started towards the house. At the doorway, he turned around. "You don't really use hair products, do you?"

"Why? You want to use them for yourself?"

"Never mind. Forget I asked."

* * *

"I'm sorry." Rory said as they stood in the empty diner later that night. "I had to break the tension somehow."

"Yeah, you look really sorry with that grin on your face." He lightly brushed her arm. "Just so you know, I'm going to get you back for this."

"Whatever you say. Hey, do you have any coffee?"

He nodded and went behind the counter.

"So, how suspicious do you think we looked sneaking around town in Luke's truck?"

"Can't know for sure. Hopefully not enough for the bloodhounds to come scratching at the door anytime soon."

"Or the aliens."

He raised his eyebrow.

"Sorry. I watched _Signs _with my mom today."

"That explains some things." He handed her a cup of coffee.

The diner was only dimly lit as they sat in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" He asked.

"Early. Very early." She wrinkled her nose and stood up.

He took her hand as they stood by the door, not ready for her to go yet. He had let too many small moments slip by with her.

She stopped talking and met his eyes, the lighting glinting off of them.

_Kiss her, Jess._ He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. Kept holding eye contact. Placed one hand lightly on her back. Leaned closer. This was it.

She cleared her throat, shattering the stillness. She ducked her head, but didn't move out of his arms.

He tried to swallow the disappointment in his throat, scrambling desperately for an escape.

She squeezed his hand, an unspoken apology. When she looked up, her eyes were shadowed with a hint of worry, as if she was just waiting for him to run.

"I -" She glanced at the ground, at the door, then back at him.

He shifted, dropping his hand from her back, and wanting desperately to take the last few moments back. Going back to an invisible barrier of distrust and too many mistakes was a path he'd been down too many times with her before.

"I should go." She said. "But this, seeing you, was nice. More than that, actually. It was wonderful."

The only sound was the slight humming of the refrigerator in the back of the diner.

"We should do this again." She squeezed his hand again.

Double meanings in the sentences; a trick they had employed time and time again. He turned the corners of his mouth up and gave her a small nod.

"I'll call you next time I'm free." He said.

She smiled and placed one hand on the doorknob. She twisted it, then hesitated, bringing her other hand gently to his face. "Everything has a time, Jess."

And with that, she was gone.

* * *

He wasn't disappointed, exactly. That's what he kept telling himself. The good outweighed the bad, after all. At least he got to see her. But why was he feeling like he couldn't get enough? That no matter how much time he spent with her, it would never be enough?

It bothered him throughout the night. Only at four in the morning, did he let himself admit it - He was terrified, more afraid than he'd ever been of anything in his life, of losing her again. He didn't deserve her trust. Didn't deserve her. But she was giving him another chance. Remembering the wariness in her eyes earlier, he closed his eyes. He didn't like to admit it, but it hurt. No matter how many chances she gave him, he may never have her complete trust. It was just a fact; one he didn't like one bit, but one he was forced to live with. He sighed deeply, ran a hand through his hair, flicked on the light, and picked up a book.

He would make it up to her…someday.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, the whole 'hair products' thing resulted from me being bored to death during math class and having to work a word problem involving someone going bald. Nothing against hair products here, just the result of my math-hating brain translating everything into dialogue. _


	13. Chapter 12

Her apartment in Iowa seemed lonely. Sighing, she dragged her suitcase in the door behind her and flicked on the light, illuminating the emptiness. Her mom, with ever-present random remarks, wasn't there. Paul Anka wasn't sidling around the floor, skidding over the smooth surface in search of a shoe. And Jess wasn't just a block away. She hadn't made many friends on the Campaign Trail, mainly because everyone else was years older than she was and seemed to brush her off whenever she tried to get a word in. But she enjoyed the writing, and it wasn't about making friends, after all. It was about getting the job done. At least, that's what she told herself every time she wished for company.

She sighed, thinking of Jess and the look on his face when she pulled away. At least he hadn't been mad. She had been half afraid he would run; that her refusal could serve as a cover-up for an escape. But, like her, he seemed to be unwilling to let any awkwardness permeate what they had.

Looking around the cold room, she bit her lip. So he hadn't run. It still didn't change the look in his eyes.

She had wanted to kiss him, more than anything. But she wasn't about to rush head-long into Jess Mariano's arms again. She had to make sure it was safe; make sure it was right. Maybe, just maybe, this time it could all work out.

* * *

Two weeks later, she was staring at the ceiling, wide awake. She reached for her phone, hoping it was nearly morning. _1 New Message_ blinked from the screen. She clicked it, her heart leaping as she saw Jess' name.

"_I just figured out how to work this thing. Maybe I'm not as tech-savvy as I make myself out to be."_

A small chuckle escaped her and sounded in the quiet room. She typed back quickly. "_It's handy though, isn't it?"_

Her phone vibrated a few minutes later.

_"Rory? It's four in the morning. And yes, it is - once I stopped hitting all the wrong buttons. Give me a computer keyboard, a pen and some paper…anything besides this dinky thing."_

_Couldn't sleep. And you'll get used to it._

_Neither could I, once a cow starting serenading me at four in the morning._

She barely stifled a laugh._ A cow?_

_Yep. Just to alert me that I had a new text._

_Wonder why it would do that…_

_Yeah, it's a big mystery. _

Before she had finished her next message, Jess had sent another one. _A cow, Rory? Really?_

_You have no proof that I did it. It could have very well been the guy who helped us at the store. What was his name? Mike?_

_Oh yeah, I'm sure Mike just gets a kick out of scaring people with cow noises in the dead of night._

_You never know. _She typed back quickly.

"_What's your obsession with using phones in the middle of the night, anyway?"_

"_Shannon - she's the head of everything around here - said she wants to talk to me tomorrow. It might be about a new position, so I'm excited."_

"_That's great. Let me know how it goes."_

"_Definitely. I'd better go - have to get ready in a couple hours."_

"'_Night. Or morning. Whichever you prefer."_

She chuckled and set her phone back on the nightstand. Only a few more hours of waiting.

* * *

She knocked on Shannon's door at 8:00.

"Come in."

"Hi, Shannon." Excitement rushed through her veins as she took a seat.

"I wanted to discuss the rest of the campaign trail." Shannon leaned forward in her chair and looked Rory square in the eye. "I think it would be best if I just came out and said this. We've loved having you on our staff, but it's time to let you go.

Silence reigned in the room for several seconds.

"I-I don't understand." She managed to choke out.

"Being hired for this job doesn't always mean you carry out the full term. In some cases, it's necessary to let reporters go. It's nothing personal. We just feel that you aren't…qualified to finish the trail."

"Qualified?"

"You're a young reporter. You have potential, but frankly, you have nothing left to off us."

Memories of Mitchum Huntzberger's office flashed behind Rory's eyes. She all too well remembered her downward spiral. Her heart thumped aggressively, yet she hardly felt it. She hardly felt a thing.

"So, um," She swallowed. "This is final?"

Shannon only nodded.

Rory stood up. "Thank you for the opportunity." Her voice cracked. Tears burned in her eyes as she opened the door and rushed back to her apartment. She collapsed on her bed, her body racked with sobs and thoughts that wouldn't stop rushing through her head. _I worked hard for this. I dealt with Paris, did that stupid internship with Mitchum, and was the editor of the Yale Daily News. And for what? This? Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a reporter after all._

She had to talk to someone. She picked up her cell to call her mom, but her fingers hesitated over the keys. She couldn't face her mom. Facing her mom would inevitably mean facing Luke, facing the town, facing her grandparents. They would all be so disappointed in her. Another gulf of despair overwhelmed her. Her breath hitched. With clumsy fingers, she dialed a number.

"Hello."

"Jess." Her voice broke.

"Rory? What happened?"

She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "I lost the reporting job."

"What?"

"They let me go."

"Why? Can they even do that?" He sounded outraged.

"They just did." She attempted a wry chuckle, but it stuck in her throat, making her cough.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She knew her voice betrayed her.

"Where are you?"

"Still in Iowa. We weren't supposed to leave until Monday."

Ice cream. That was what she needed. Ice creams made everything better_._ She sniffed. "I have to go."

"It'll be okay, Rory."

Somehow, when he said it, she believed him.

* * *

_A/N: I know, I know. I'm terrible to my characters. *ducks from any tomatoes being thrown* But it can only go up from here, right?  
_


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Jess hung up the phone in a mix of shock and anger. They didn't know what they were doing. She was a brilliant reporter. Young, maybe, but brilliant all the same.

He ran his hand through his hair, wishing he could do something for her. She had sounded crushed on the phone, even though she tried to play it down.

He sank into a chair and sat, lost in thought, for minutes.

A thought hit him hard and he wondered why it hadn't occurred to him sooner.

He had to go see her. Go comfort her. She was alone right now, as far as he knew. She had never mentioned any friends on the trail.

He had to get to her. Fast.

He hurried down the stairs. "Chris? Matt?"

He found them in the tiny space they used for a kitchen.

"What's up?" Matt asked as he entered.

"I need a few days off."

Matt looked at him closely. "Something wrong?"

"Rory was let go from her reporting job today."

"Wow. What happened?" Matt asked.

"Is her writing…" Chris trailed off.

"No." The word came out quickly. "No, she's amazing. I don't know what they were thinking." He sighed, looking away. "Anyway, she's really upset. I just don't want her alone."

Lorelai was probably already packing her bags, he realized. But he didn't know when she would get there, and until then…He looked back at Matt and Chris.

"I'll make it up to you guys."

Matt looked at Chris.

"Go ahead, man." Chris said. "Just don't expect there to be any mint chocolate chip cookies left when you get back."

He nodded. "Duly noted. Thanks."

"And don't get eaten by a cow or anything. Aren't there a lot of cows in Iowa?" Matt spoke up.

Jess snorted. "I think I'll be okay."

He was on the road in less than half and hour, pressing the limits of the speed signs that dotted the road.

Two hours later, he got pulled over.

He figured the officer wouldn't buy his reason of hurrying across several states to comfort his now jobless girlfriend, who wasn't even technically his girlfriend, so he remained mostly silent. Back on the road, he was more careful and only went a mile over the speed limit - a number that he found to be increasing more and more with each passing hour.

By 1:00 a.m., he was checking into a hotel in Iowa and resisting the urge to go directly to Rory's apartment. He paused, hand on the door. He turned away for a second, then shook his head.

He would be there, first thing in the morning…

* * *

At eight, he knocked on her door.

No answer.

"Rory, it's me."

A few moments later, shuffling could be heard inside the room. Neither spoke when she opened the door. Her eyes were watery and bloodshot. Jess reached out and pulled her into his arms. He had never hugged her much before - it all felt too mushy for him - but now he simply stood and held her.

Sometime later, she asked "Why are you here?"

A smart remark about 'just being in the neighborhood' came to his mind, but he thought better of it. "Didn't want you to be alone."

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Do you want to get some coffee?"

She shook her head against him. He frowned. She was even worse off than he had thought. He pushed her away slightly.

"What exactly happened?"

"Nothing. They just let me go. It - it's probably stupid that I'm so upset anyway."

He guided her to a chair in the room, and pulled up another for himself.

"Talk."

"I'm fine."

He gave her a look that clearly stated he knew otherwise. "Well, it's a good thing I brought _The Old Man and the Sea_. I'll read it to you."

"No, wait. I'll talk."

"I knew that would do it."

"Not fair." She tried to smile, then blew out a shaky sigh. "What Shannon actually wanted to talk to me about was the fact that I no longer have a job. They said it was nothing personal, but there was nothing left for me to contribute. That's about it. I'm out of a job." She was sat in silence for a moment before she tensed and spoke again. "And to think I was getting promoted. I'm so stupid."

"You're not one to get so down about stuff like this."

"It just reminded me a little too much about what Mitchum Huntzburger, Logan's dad, said. I was an intern for him, and he told me I 'didn't have what it took to be a reporter.' That's," She paused, taking a breath. "A lot of the reason I dropped out of Yale."

Jess hated seeing her like this - so fragile and vulnerable. He reached out and brushed her fingers, intertwining them.

"Have you talked to your mom yet?"

She shook her head quickly. "No. If I tell her, the entire town will find out, and I'll have to tell my grandparents. They'llbe so disapointed in me, and I'll have to figure out where I'm going to live, where I;m going to work..." She sniffed. "I don't want to deal with all that right now. I _can't_ deal with that right now."

He didn't know what to say, so he just squeezed her hand.

She spoke again. "All my life, I've had people telling me I could do anything I put my mind to. It's not a bad thing, necessarily, but I've gotten used to it and it kills me to hear otherwise."

"Rory, listen to me. There are always going to be people saying you can't do it."

"I know." She looked down.

"But you're stronger than that. I know you are."

"Jess, I have been sitting here sobbing my eyes out and eating ice cream since I got the news."

"You have it in you, though. "

They didn't speak for a few seconds, before she burst out, "But what about you? You had people tell you you wouldn't amount to anything, and look at you now. Maybe it's all a contradiction. Maybe -"

"That's different, Rory. If I had kept on my same path, I wouldn't have been any better than anyone said I would be. If I hadn't met you, I would have never written a book." He gave a half-smile, glancing down. "But you…people say you can do it because you can. You're like…Supergirl or something." He squinted briefly at his own words, then continued. "Maybe not everyone you meet will agree, but not everyone agrees that Hemmingway was a literary genius, either."

She gave a watery laugh. "True. But Supergirl? I didn't know you were into that stuff."

"Liz called me the other day. T.J. was playing Superman reruns in the background."

"So, how about that coffee, now?"

She stood up. "Jess Mariano, you're really not too bad at pep talks."

"Don't tell anyone."

She just smiled. She reached for the door, but spun back around to face him. "Do I at least get a cape?"

"What?"

"You said I was Supergirl. Does that mean I get a cape?"

"Yeah. We'll stop at the party store on the way."

Jess did everything in his power to cheer her up. They strolled along the streets of Des Moines, visiting the numerous shops. After a couple of hours, Rory seemed to be doing better, and he could occasionally get a smile or laugh out of her.

She grabbed his arm. "Come on."

"Wha-?" Before he could say anything else, she had pulled him inside a quaint coffee shop.

"Didn't you just have two cups?"

"So?"

"Right. Never mind."

""I'm sampling."

"That implies you're having a smaller size than a large."

"There is no way anyone can tell how good a cup of coffee is if they just have those puny little samples."

He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm serious! Some coffee requires a few bitter gulps to get used to it, and by then, the sample's gone. Other coffees taste really bad once you've had a lot."

"I think you're just trying to justify your abnormal caffeine intake."

"Think what you want." She studied the menu. "I'll have a large white chocolate macchiato."

Jess stepped up to the counter and relayed the order. He started to get his wallet out, but Rory stopped him.

"Jess, no. You've been paying all day. I've got it."

"It's not a big deal. Though I do feel guilty about feeding your coffee addiction."

Her eyes clouded over. "Just because I'm out of a job doesn't mean I can't pay for my own coffee."

"I wasn't implying that." He said calmly.

She studied him, then looked down, embarrassed. "Sorry. I'm guess I'm a little sensitive."

"It's fine." He handed the cashier the money.

"Thanks." She said quietly. Then a little more brightly, "Hey, while you're at it, order a cinnamon roll."

"One cinnamon roll, too, please."

"Turning back to her, Jess sighed. "That's clogging your arteries."

"You're turning into Luke."

"I'm shutting up now."

She laughed. "Wise choice."

"White chocolate macchiato," A worker called.

Rory grabbed it and sniffed appreciatively. "Mmm."

"What even is that?"

"Try it."

Jess took a sip. "That's disgusting."

"That's why you need a large. It gets better the more you drink it."

"You're weird."

"You don't appreciate good coffee."

"More for you and your mom. You guys could drink the entire world's supply."

"Tempting."

"Don't even think about it," he teased. "Come on. I saw a book store across the street."

* * *

The sun had set and the moonlight danced off her hair as he walked her back to her apartment. She smiled at him and his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't deny it - he loved her, more than ever. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss her. But he couldn't risk losing her again. What they had now was the closest he'd come to having her since they were eighteen.

"Thanks again for coming." She said.

"No problem."

"Are you heading back to Philadelphia tonight?"

He shook his head briefly. "My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon."

"Where are you staying? I can come by tomorrow to see you off."

"That's okay." He saw her face fall, but she quickly recovered.

"Oh. Well, I -"

"I can come by here tomorrow. It's on my way anyway. Is nine thirty okay?" He glanced at her and smirked. "What? You thought I didn't want to see you anymore?"

"Um…You could have gotten tired of me." She grimaced slightly after she spoke.

"If I got tired of you that easily, I wouldn't have driven to Iowa." He nudged her gently. "Not to mention the speeding ticket I earned on the way over."

She blushed. "Right." Her head shot up and she met his gaze. "Wait. You didn't mention getting a ticket."

"Happens when you go fifteen miles over the speed limit."

"Jess!"

He shrugged and smirked. "You going to give me an impromptu driver's ed class?"

"I'm considering it."

The pink in her cheeks glowed against the dim light. She was beautiful. He didn't want to go back to Philly. Not without knowing when he would see her again. He risked a glance at her lips. Maybe she was ready…He stopped himself. _There's too much on the line. Just take it slow._ He leaned in and brushed her cheek softly with his lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Rory Gilmore." It came out huskier than he intended, and he stepped away quickly.

"'Night, Jess."

He shot her a half-smile over his shoulder as he walked back to his car. He unlocked it, but couldn't resist a glance back at her door. A thrill rushed through him as he noticed her waiting in the doorway, watching him. She lifted her hand in a wave as he lowered himself in and drove away, a smile desperately tugging at his mouth.

* * *

_A/N: Honestly, I think Jess would be great at pep talks. Or just terrible. But I prefer to think of the former. ;) _


	15. Chapter 14

It was 8:30 in the morning, she had showered, dressed, fixed her hair, and applied a light layer of makeup. She glanced impatiently at the clock again. An hour to go. She tapped her fingernails on the table, then pressed her finger to her cheek remembering the gentle kiss Jess had placed there. A smile worked its way onto her face, and she sat lost in thoughts filled with him.

Half an hour to go. She became restless again, knowing was going to drive herself crazy sitting here. She stood up and rummaged through the books on her bookshelf. The shelf took up nearly half a room, but she didn't mind in the least.

She scanned the titles. _The Short Stories of Katherine Mansfield. _Sliding the book out, she brought it to the table and flipped quickly to the page she wanted.

"A Dill Pickle". She knew exactly where it was, from years of re-reading it, though back then it had been for different reasons. Now, though she couldn't explain it, she let her eyes travel down to the first word. The first time she had read this story, she was nineteen and still reeling from the wake Jess had left behind. Although it was only a few pages long, she hadn't been able to finish the story for a week. The story depicted two people, who had obviously loved each other at one point, that happen to meet in a café. For a reason she couldn't explain, the story had reminded her so much of her and Jess. But it had drawn her. She hadn't usually liked things that reminded her of him. Things like that - from certain songs to a jean jacket in a store window - had made her stomach churn and her mind conjure up memories she would have rather left far behind. This particular story, however, was different. Once she had been able to read it all the way through, she had reveled in every word. She scanned the story now, marveling at the way things had turned around for them. She finished the story, then glanced at the clock. Twelve minutes to go.

Five minutes passed as she waited anxiously. She looked in the mirror again, ran a brush through her hair one more time, and turned away in satisfaction.

Seven minutes. She attempted to read more, but with the seconds ticking down, even she couldn't get lost in a book world now.

Five minutes left. In an attempt to keep from rushing out onto the street and meeting him halfway, she opened the freezer and grabbed one of the various ice cream containers left over from her sob-fest two days ago. She had just dished up a bowl of moose tracks and stuck the first spoonful in her mouth when a knock on the door broke the silence of the room.

"Coming!" She yelled around a mouthful of ice cream.

She opened the door and was met with his face. She took it all in - the hair that was perfectly styled into a spiky mess, the deep eyes that showed nothing and everything all at once, and the ever-present smirk on his features. She cleared her throat. "Hey. Do you want some ice cream? I've got plenty."

"It's not even 10'o clock yet."

"Ice cream for breakfast never hurt anyone."

"That's what they all say." Jess stepped inside and followed her to the freezer anyway.

"Chocolate, vanilla, moose tracks, or mint chocolate chip?"

"No fruit flavors for breakfast?"

"I don't understand why people contaminate perfectly good ice cream with healthy flavors."

"You have a point." He dished up a bowl of mint chocolate chip and joined her at the tiny table. Immediately, he flipped open the book she had left there earlier that morning.

"_Katherine Mansfield's Short Stories_. Good choice."

"I'm re-reading it."

"Which one's your favorite?" One glance in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

She looked away and replied as casually as she could. "'A Dill Pickle'." She didn't want him to know just how much it reminded her of them, or that the first time she had read it, she had only made it halfway through before slamming the book shut. She risked a glance at his face and immediately regretted it. He only nodded, but she could see in his face that he knew exactly what she was thinking.

He smiled at her, a gentle one full of understanding, and she relaxed a little bit, letting herself fall into easy banter.

The time passed all too quickly and before she knew it, they were standing outside.

"Thanks again for coming." She said.

"No problem."

A breeze fluttered through the air, drifting through their silence, and she sensed he was as reluctant to leave as she was for him to go. She weighed her options, quickly forming a pro-con list in her head. Only one thought stuck out in her mind: She wasn't ready for him to leave. She took a small step towards him, still shifting through the options. His eyes held her in place and she unconsciously leaned forward. Her heart sped up as she watched him closely, noticing they were only inches from each other now. And still, he held her gaze. And then, suddenly, he closed his eyes briefly and looked beyond her, pulling them both out of their trace. He looked down at her once more and brushed the hair from her face.

"I should go."

She smiled at him, but couldn't help noticing the disappointment that crept into her veins as he walked to his car. Her stomach churned. She didn't want to be like the man in "A Dill Pickle". She didn't want to suddenly look up and realize that the he was gone. She had to do something, before she lost him again. And this time, she was sure of her reasons.

"Jess." She called, running up to him.

He had just turned around, when she stood on her toes and crashed her lips to his. He didn't attempt to pull her closer, like he always had before. Instead, he seemed to relish the moment, as if he knew it would soon be past. _Just like at Truncheon,_ she thought. _No, don't think about that. This is different. __We're__ different._ She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on him. Just him and the way he was now bringing his hands to cup her face. Just him and the fact that she was back in his arms. And she loved it.

Finally, she broke away. "Don't get another ticket."

"I'll do my best."

She threw her arms around him, not willing to let him go yet. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly, with his face in her hair. He had never hugged her much before, finding the practice too mushy, and content to just slip an arm around her as they walked. _It's amazing what can change in a few years_. She thought, smiling against his shoulder.

"I'll see you soon?" She asked.

"Only if you want to."

She grinned, stepping away slightly so she could see his face. "Definitely."

He smirked. "Good to know." He glanced at his car, but kept his arms around her.

Reluctantly stepping away, she motioned to the car. "Better get back to those books."

With one last kiss he stepped into the car, leaving her with a smile so wide all worries about her dangling career were cleared from her mind.

* * *

_A/N: Annnd they're finally together! Also, if you haven't read "A Dill Pickle", I'd highly recommend it. It's beautifully written. Hope you guys liked this chapter! Oh, and this is the point in the story where I have no idea what's between this chapter and the end. So if there's anything you guys would like to see, just let me know and I'll try to work it in!_


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update - I've been out of the country for a couple weeks. I don't obviously own Gilmore Girls. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Her apartment was nearly bare, her few belongings shoved into the trunk of her car. It seemed lonelier than ever, and though she was glad to be heading home, she dreaded relaying the reason of her return.

Braced for the onslaught of disappointment that would surely seep from the town, she carefully pulled into the driveway. She climbed out of the car and slowly made her way up to the porch and knocked on the door.

Lorelai opened the door with a full cup of coffee in her hands. "Rory!" The coffee sloshed to the floor.

"Hi mom." A long hug followed the words.

"What are you doing back?" Lorelai held her at arms length. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you - the coffee on the floor should tell that much. But I thought you weren't supposed to come back for another few months."

"I actually have something to tell you."

"This sounds like a conversation that needs coffee."

Rory shook her head. "No thanks." She would never be able to keep the coffee down after this.

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah." She could already feel her eyes welling up and struggled to keep it together.

"Honey, what's going on?" Lorelai led her to the sofa.

"Shannon wanted to talk to me a few days ago, and I thought I was getting promoted or something." She choked on a sarcastic laugh. "I'm such an idiot."

"Rory…"

"No, it's true. She -" The first tear spilled out of her. "She told me I wasn't 'qualified' to be on the trail anymore."

Lorelai was silent, eyes wide.

"I really, really wanted this, mom." Her voice cracked.

For a moment, Lorelai looked like her own mother when someone showed up to dinner with a wrinkled outfit. Then she took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around Rory. "I know you did. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

* * *

Later, she looked around her room. It had changed so much since she lived in it. For one thing, there was another bed. On that side of the room, science posters coated the walls. She didn't mind entirely - April was a sweet enough girl - and the room still had a sense of familiarity. But for right now, she was glad April had temporarily moved to the couch to give her some privacy.

She glanced around the room, remembering she had left her bag by the doorway.

She was just passing the stairs when she heard voices. Luke's held the tone of a coming rant. "How can they -" The voice was quickly muffled.

Quickly grabbing her bag, she crept back to her room. She laid down on the bed, her tears seeping into the pillow. Once she had composed herself more, she grabbed her cell.

"Hi, Jess." She said when he answered.

"Rory." His voice was warm and for just a moment, she forgot about her circumstances.

Footsteps sounded overhead, and she lowered her voice.

"Hold on a second." She slipped the phone into her pocket.

Two minutes later, her voice was drifting quietly into the night air.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"On the roof."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope. I used to come up here all the time. You know that tree we have next to our house? It makes a perfect little hideout."

"And Babette has never noticed this?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Wow."

"I thought about bringing you up here one time."

"Huh."

"But I didn't think seventeen-year-old you would have climbed up a onto a roof."

"I'd say you're right on that point."

"Hey, you never know. I'm sure many writers have drawn inspiration from hiding on rooftops."

"Like who? Rudyard Kipling?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." She twirled a leaf between her fingers. "I miss you."

The breeze drifting through the treetops was the only noise for seconds. She tensed, wondering if she had spoken too soon.

"Huh."

She smiled to herself. His monosyllabism was back, and that could only mean one thing.

"We should probably try to fix that." He said finally.

"I agree."

"So, what have you and your mom planned for this week?"

"Movie nights, a shopping excursion, and lots and lots of junk food consumption. It should be really fun, except for the fact that I have to tell my grandparents on Friday."

"Good luck with that."

She sighed.

"Here's an idea. During that shopping trip, buy a mask. They'll never know the difference."

She frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Sorry. Matt and Chris are watching _The Mask of Zorro_ in the other room."

"That explains a lot."

"Hey, lots of movies use masks. _The Princess Bride_. _Phantom of the Opera._"

"I never understood how that even remotely passes as logical. I mean, the Cinderella ballroom scene? Lane and I have tried on masquerade masks, and let me tell you, it doesn't do a thing to conceal who you are."

"Either the people in movies are idiots, or Hollywood thinks we are."

"And I'm pretty sure it's the latter."

"Unfortunately."

They talked into the night, then she quietly entered the house, relieved to find it silent.

* * *

Friday night came all too soon.

"Rory!" Emily looked shocked as she opened the door. "What a lovely surprise! Come in, come in! Richard! The girls are here! Both of them!" She ushered them inside.

"Rory!" Her grandpa came down the stairs. "How nice to see you."

"What are you doing back?" Emily asked.

Her stomach twisted. "Grandma and Grandpa…" She looked at her mother, who gave her an encouraging glance. "I have to talk to you about something."

They looked at her with rapt attention.

"I'm no longer on the campaign trail."

"Did you find a better spot? Why, that's wonderful!" Emily said.

"No, I…" She cleared her throat. "They didn't need me anymore."

A clatter of glasses sounded, then absolute silence filled the air.

When Emily finally found her voice, she burst out, "That's abominable!"

"What do you mean 'they didn't need you'?" Richard asked.

"I had nothing left to offer them, and -"

"Do you mean to say that they chose to pass up my granddaughter in hopes of finding some unsuitable replacement? I'm calling the head of this campaign! I have connections."

"Grandma, please, it's alright."

"It's not alright!" Emily fumed.

"Mom." Lorelai spoke up. "It's disappointing for all of us. But freaking out isn't going to help anything."

The room settled into a tense silence.

"What is taking the maid so long? Honestly, how long does it take to make a simple salad?"

Rory shot a glance at Lorelai. "Actually, grandma, I'm not very hungry."

"Yeah, mom," Lorelai said. "We were actually thinking of ducking out early tonight."

"Nonsense. We haven't had Friday night dinner in months!"

"Then you can wait another few weeks."

"I hardly ever get to see my granddaughter, and to only see her because of this terrible news -"

"Emily." Richard broke in. "Let the girls go home." He turned to Rory. "I'm sorry about the campaign, Rory. They don't realize what a great thing they've lost."

She could feel her eyes tearing up again. "Thanks, Grandpa." She whispered.

They closed the door to more of Emily's emphatic protests.

"That was horrible." Rory said as they climbed into the car.

"I know." Lorelai rubbed her shoulder. "At least you got it over with."

"Yeah." She let her voice trail off.

"Ice cream at home?"

"Definitely."

* * *

They were scooping the last bites of ice cream into their mouths when her phone rand. She glanced at the caller ID. _Jess._

"Who is it?" Lorelai asked.

"Um, Jess."

"Go ahead and take it. We'll have plenty of time to talk later."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. Just go out of the room so I don't have to listen to you being all mushy."

"Mom!"

"Jess and Rory, sittin' in a tree."

"Mom!"

Lorelai snickered and gestured at the phone. "Your boyfriend's waiting."

"Sometimes I seriously wonder if you're five." She pressed the talk button, heading to her room. "Hello?"

"Hey. How did the talk with the grandparents go?"

"It was awful. Beyond awful. My grandma's threatening to call someone, and my grandpa's trying to be nice about it, but I can tell he's disappointed. It's just…awful."

A beat of silence. Then, "You'll find something soon. I know you will."

She traced a line on her comforter. "Thanks." She said softly.

"So." He cleared his throat. "I have a free weekend coming up, and I thought maybe you'd like to come for a visit. That is, if you're not too busy pushing the limits of sugar highs."

She brightened at the thought. "I'd like that." She thought she heard a small breath of relief, but couldn't be sure.

"Yeah? I'd let you stay at in the office at Truncheon, but it's extremely cramped and Matt and Chris are so loud, they could raise the dead. There's a hotel just across the street that I could put you up at…"

They worked out the details, then hung up reluctantly. And for the first time in a week, she was able to fall into a peaceful sleep.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: I'm so sorry about the huge delay. If you're still reading...thank you!**

* * *

"Okay, who left three Twinkie wrappers on the counter?"

"Dude, chill." Chris said. "I was getting to those. Just let me finish this banana."

Jess sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm going to pick some stuff up." He headed towards the door.

"I hope you're talking about more food."

He didn't turn around.

"Seriously. What are you getting?"

"Cleaner."

"Cleaner?"

"Yeah, Chris. She's a woman. She might appreciate being able to see out the window."

"It's not that bad."

"Have you looked out there recently?"

Matt came clomping down the stairs, car keys in hand. "Who's going where?"

"Jess thinks we need window cleaner."

"I'm outta here."

"Can I hitch a ride? I was just about to pick up a pizza."

"Finally!" Chris yelled. "Bananas cannot compete with pizza."

Matt grinned. "You going to help pay?"

"Fine. Just make sure it's a large. With extra cheese."

"I was thinking about getting banana peppers."

Chris shook his head. "If there's one thing we don't need, it's more bananas. Even less than Jess' window cleaner."

"Are you coming or not?" Jess asked Matt.

"Yeah, yeah." He followed him out the door.

"Why are you so freaked out about this anyway?" Matt asked, climbing into the car.

"I'm not freaked out."

"Right."

"A man buys a little window cleaner…"

"Always use food as a cover-up, man. Always."

Jess glanced at him. "Seriously?"

"Why do you think I'm always getting pizza? Keeps Chris happy and he doesn't ask questions. He'll get on your case about anything you buy."

"What are you picking up?"

"A library book."

"What kind of book?"

Matt mumbled the answer. "Dating book…"

He swallowed the laughter that burned in his throat as he remembered his own experience. "Huh."

"Don't laugh. I just need…polishing."

"Hey, I'm not saying anything."

Matt was quiet for a few seconds. "So you must really like this girl, huh?"

"Back to this again?"

A grin. "Come on. What's she like?"

He supposed he did owe Matt some information. "She's smart and quirky and beautiful." He fell silent for a second, her eyes dancing at the front of his mind.

"She's just beautiful."

"Is this the same girl who…"

His grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"Chris and I overheard you talking with your uncle. She's the one who came to the open house?"

He blew out a breath. "Yeah."

"Why are you still with her?"

"Look, Rory and I…" He glanced in his rearview mirror, changing lanes. "It hasn't been easy. I've hurt her, she's hurt me, we're finally moving past it."

Matt nodded.

"I don't why I'm telling you this."

"Dude, when you get nervous, you actually utter more than a few syllables. It's like you get drunk off of nerves or something."

"Oh sure. Because you've seen me nervous so many times."

"Only around this girl. The night before the open house? Chris and I thought you were having a mental breakdown or something."

"Probably something in the water."

"Right."

"Hey, you're the one who can't even talk to a girl."

"Not true. The ladies love me."

Jess snorted. "Says the man about to read a dating book."

"Mention that ever again…"

* * *

Hours before she arrived, the windows were clean, banana peels were absent from the counters, and Jess was pretending not to glance at the time. When the knock on the door finally came, he strode towards it. She was standing there with the gentle breeze blowing her hair back from her face, eyes shining with wonder and a smile resting on her lips. He felt his breath catch slightly.

"Hi." She grinned at him.

"Hi." He took a step towards her, closing the door behind him. How did he greet her? A kiss? No, he would wait. For now.

Before he could make up his mind, she had her arms around him.

"Thanks for letting me come." She said, pulling away.

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "No problem."

"So." She glanced around. "Still looks good."

"Yeah, hasn't changed much."

"I didn't mean - I mean, yeah, of course it looks good. The only reason it wouldn't look good is if it was dilapidated or something, which of course it's not,because you're here…working…and it looks good and is obviously getting the job done…" She broke off, biting her lip.

He barely restrained a chuckle."Nervous?"

"That obvious?"

He raised an eyebrow.

She sighed.

"Have you met Matt and Chris?" He asked.

"Very briefly."

"I should probably warn you, they're…Well, if anyone's going to have a problem, it's you."

"Nice to know."

He opened the door, and she glanced at him with a nervous smile before stepping inside.

"You're Rory?" Chris asked.

She nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"You too. We've heard almost nothing about you."

Jess broke in. "I'm going to show her around." He lead her away from them, shooting Chris a look.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

"They'll warm up to you soon."

"Comforting."

"It really might be best if they stay away, though."

"They can't be all that bad."

"Depends on how you look at it." He opened a door.

"I met all kinds of people on the campaign trail. There was one that had not one, but three pet pigs. And she walked them on leashes!"

"Why would someone want a pig?"

"I don't think it was for bacon. She considered them her children."

"Huh."

He finished showing her around and hesitantly approached the kitchen.

"So, Rory. Do you like bananas?"

"Um…Not really."

"Well, you just scored some points with. Yesterday, it was all we had to eat. I don't even know who bought bananas, but there they were. And nothing else."

Rory wrinkled her nose.

"My thoughts exactly. A man should not be forced to eat that kind of stuff. Takes me back to when I was a kid."

"Dude," Matt broke in. "My mom made me eat sauerkraut. One morning, we had it for breakfast. There is nothing worse than cold sauerkraut. Nothing."

From there, the conversation grew light and familiar. Jess watched her out of the corner of his eye, and, seeing her visibly relax, sat back in his chair.

"Oh, Jess. We need to do the painting job tomorrow." Chris looked at Rory. "Matt blew all our extra budget money for this month on a new radio system."

"It helps me work." Matt broke in.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Needless to say, the paint situation is now left up to us. I'm sure you saw the world's worst shade of green during the tour, right?"

"I vaguely remember something like that."

"Did Jess turn on the light?"

She frowned.

"That's what I thought. It's embarrassing. So, we'll need to borrow Jess for a few hours tomorrow."

"Do you guys need any help?"

Chris glanced at Matt, then at Jess. "We do have an extra paintbrush…"

* * *

"You don't have to do this." Jess said the next morning.

"I want to. Matt and Chris were nice enough to let me crash the workplace, so it's the least I can do. Besides, I haven't picked up a paint brush in years. Itcould be fun."

"Or dangerous."

"That too. It's a good thing we have the plastic."

"I'm not that bad of a painter."

"No, but Chris is."

"Seriously? He was so focused on getting this job done."

"Hence the plastic covering the entire floor."

"I'll make sure to keep my distance."

"Would be wise."

* * *

"I can't believe we ran out of paint." Chris said, barely over an hour later.

"This is where those high school math problems come in handy." Matt shot back. "You could have figured it out beforehand."

"On second thought, buying more paint isn't such a bad idea. But you're coming with me. And you can figure out how much we need."

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"Too late. Come on."

Jess chuckled as they left the room, still exchanging remarks. He and Rory worked silently for a while, lost in their own thoughts. All of a sudden, the serene atmosphere of the room was broken by something flying by his ear.

"Did you just throw your paintbrush at me?"

"You had some paint in your hair."

"So you decided to add more?"

"Just evening it out."

He hesitated a moment, then thrust his own brush at her. She giggled, stepping out of the way just in time.

"Rory…"

She brushed a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. "Yes?"

"You're just lucky the brush didn't hit the wall."

"Would have gotten the job done faster."

He shrugged.

She dodged around him, picking up her brush again and swiping it across his shirt.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, she was in his arms. Who instigated the kiss, he had no idea - nor did he care. The thud of his paintbrush hitting the floor echoed in the room. Her arms were wrapped around her neck; his fingers in her hair.

She pulled back slightly. "So much for taking it slowly."

"Must be the paint fumes."

She tilted her head up again and was met halfway.

"You know, you owe me a new shirt."

"Put it in the wash, it'll be grand." Her voice was tinged with an accent.

Another quick kiss. "What?"

"Never mind. Just the result of all those movie nights with my mom."

"I should have known." He pulled her close again.

"I thought you guys were going to paint the room."

Rory flushed, pulling back quickly.

"I - uh."

"Oh, relax, Chris. They got -" Matt squinted at the wall. "A fourth of the wall done." His mouth twitched.

Chris sighed. "Should have known better."

Jess glanced at Rory, whose face was still an interesting shade of red, and smirked.

* * *

_A/N: If anyone got the movie reference, congrats. I was thinking about the movie for some reason a few days ago and it slipped into this chapter. And can I just say how much I love writing Matt and Chris? It's just crazy. Dialogue knows no limits._


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